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Question: What do you think of this chapter from my book!?
Puppy and Kitty were the bestest of friends!. Weird huh!? Puppy and Kitty, friends!. But they were like brother and sister!. It was a bright sweltering hot humid diplorable day!. "watch out for that tree!" Puppy said!. "don;t worry about me i'll just climb it" loLz!.kitty said as she hopped up the tree!. "Your going to fall down" puppy yelled!. "I'll just land on my feet" kitty replied very matter of factly!. Just then two thug kids jumped out!. "wat you doin round our drug deal!?!" puppy was so scared he ran smak dab into the tree!. Both puppy and kitty shok with fear and utter disbelief!. "users are for losers!" kitty yelled from up in the tree!. "your gonna pay for saying that!"
Thats a peice of the first chapter!. I'm working on getting it published!. Didn;t want to give away too much!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
There are a lot of typos =| please use spellcheck!.
Watch out for homophones!.
"Your going to fall down"
should be "You're going to fall down" and you are missing punctuation as well!.
again, "your gonna pay for saying that!" it should be you're!.
"bestest" is not a word!. Please refrain from using that ever again!.
also, internet talk such as "loLz" can be quite revolting and unprofessional!.
"It was a bright sweltering hot humid diplorable day!."
deplorable is misspelled, and you should really use a few commas in this sentence to separate the adjectives!.
Conjunctions, conjunctions!.!.!. they use apostrophes, (') not semicolons (;)
"don;t worry about me i'll just climb it"
-Don't (capitalization and punctuation)
-I'll (capitalization)
-And once again, the punctuation at the end of your sentence is missing!.
There are more errors floating around, I suggest you look this over and have others look it over as well before publishing!.
I'm sorry if my suggestions and commentaries sound harsh!.
Have a nice day!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
for one thing, i wouldn't want to be called "puppy" or "kitty"!. i don't much like your writing style - it's not very descriptive , but it can be improved!.
also, i don't think many people will read those kind of books, unless you're aiming for a kid's book!. If you are, i suggest you read Roald Dahl's writing, it may give you some ideas!.
PS!. please don't take this as an offense!. trying to help here (and failing miserably)Www@QuestionHome@Com
Well, it is cool how you have the puppy and kitty being friends! BUT- I'm guessing this is a children's book!. No one above the age of 10 is gonna want to read about "puppy" and "kitty"!. However, any child under the age of 10 should NOT be reading about a "drug deal"!. So something needs to change!.!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Is it for kids!? Not bad!. Go ahead!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
bvvvvvvWww@QuestionHome@Com
um!.!.!.!. it's pretty bad!Www@QuestionHome@Com