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Question: How do you like my story's intro!?
Here's the first chapter of my new book!. I really appreciate any constructive criticism that you can give me:

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When you're born into a life of crime and poverty, I guess you kind of grow used to it!. You never expect anything to change, you never think that anything is going to get better!. The only thing that really goes through your mind is where your next meal is going to come from, and where you're going to sell your illegal merchandise so that your customers can find you, but the 5-O can't!.

Every day was like that for me, but I mean, I guess, like I said, I was desensitized to it!. The day that this all got started, I actually thought things were going pretty well for me!. Well, that is, until they showed up!. About five guys, all looking for a fight!. I guess I didn't really have a choice, but when I got home!.!.!.(keep reading)Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Do you kick it with Carlton!? You are my new hero!Www@QuestionHome@Com

You totally ripped of Fresh Prince of Belair!. I mean the first part was pretty good!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. but what the heck!. You totally ripped off that theme song!. Its kinda retarted!. I mean!. That was weird!. well whatever!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

It turns from a story to a RAP

Well good though, even though im British and have no idea where Bel Air is (im thinking California)!.

Haha it's actually really COOL!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

!?Www@QuestionHome@Com

It went from amazing!.!.!. (the first part)
to terrible!.!.!. (The rap)

yeah :/

Ryhming isnt for stories!.!.!. its for songs poems and raps!.!.!.

yeah :/Www@QuestionHome@Com

it's excellent
but i don't recommend posting it on here, because some people can claim it as their own and go from there!. =]Www@QuestionHome@Com

thats plaigarismWww@QuestionHome@Com

That's Fresh Prince, not a story!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

It is good but I aggre with the first person people can take it as there ownWww@QuestionHome@Com