Position:Home>Books & Authors> Would anyone be intrested in reading the beginning of my novel?

Well, it was so-so!. There were grammar mistakes and punctuation errors!. You didn't put an apostrophe where it belonged--I kept coming across "cant" and you didn't even capitalize Kyle's name at one point!. also, when you kept asking the question you never put a question mark next to it!.

The sentences are pretty simple and that's not a good thing for the most part!. You need to make them vary or else it will become repetitive!. I can tell how old you are just by writing and if you're not a teenager then you write like one and that's not a good thing either!. We never got a description of the mother, father, Kyle or the grandmother!. Come to think of it, we only got a description about Kyle's friend!.

Your writing has no emotion!. Maybe you were trying to hard, but it seems too!.!.!.quick!. I would cry if I lost my mother, I would go crazy but as I was reading that I wasn't caring!. I just thought, "Oh how sad!. When will this get interesting!?" You don't want a reader thinking that!.

Good luck with this story!. It has potential!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

---

---

I just had a read through it and its fairly good, although there are some parts the writing and dialoge is a bit clumsy!. You might consider not having a prologue, instead working that information into the story some other way like as memories, dreams or conversations!.

also (I hate to nitpick) while I haven't lost a parent, your characters actions seem just a tiny over the top and unreal!. She did, as you point out, have six months to resign to the fact she will lose her mother and her attitude to other peoples sympathy is a bit unbelievable!. But again, I haven't been through that so I could be wrong!.

Other then that, quite a good start! I hope you keep writing, if you add more make sure to send me a link, you have me curious :)Www@QuestionHome@Com

---

---

I really like it, I think you have some talent, (it's got a heartwarming story that feels very real) my best advice (coming from a writer soon to be in print) is that you make sure and have at least 1 editor read over it (even though it is good) because I saw one slight grammatical error in the prologue!. And, If you plan on printing it remember this, above all!! Agents will put you through a lot and if you don't give up, you will print this into a nice book!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

---

---

i really liked the beggining!. my mom died so i know exactly what it is like and i am 13!. i think that her mom and dad should be divorced and her dad moved and had remarried!. Her mom dies in the middle of the year and she has to switch schools and everything!. she meets knew friends and everyday hopes that her mom will be backand every night she dreams of it when one day she gets trapped inside her dream!.

Hope it helps!. i just took my life and twisted it!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

---

---

That was actually really good!. :)
I read it, theres a few spelling errors, but of course that will be fixed, but i really liked it!
Seeing that red headed boy for a few seconds just foreshadows that he's going to be a big part (i believe) and when he smiled at her was cutee!. I like books like that, i guess i like typical teenager b!.s!.!.!.
If this book was in the bookstores, i would buy it!.

Very good :)Www@QuestionHome@Com

---

---