If you could rewrite any book?

Question: If you could rewrite any book!?

What would you change and why!? Pax-C I would be honored if you answerered this one!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

Honestly I would rewrite Twilight!.

I would make Bella much less of a doormat and potential punching bag for Edward!. She is completely codependent and headed for trouble!. This is not a healthy relationship!. It is simply one misfit geeky girl hooks up with a hunky but misfit boy!.

I would take away this "perfect" idea with regards to Edward because he isn't perfect!. He is emotionally abusive and potentially even more of an abuser and I do not like seeing young girls associate that kind of behavior with love and perfection!. It is not love - it is abuse!. And too many young girls are headed for trouble when they go out in the world seeking an "Edward"!. They are going to end up wearing long sleeves and pancake makeup in August to hide the bruises!. I know I have been there!.

I would make Bella show more respect for her father and stop lying to him because Edward manipulates her into doing it!. I would make Charlie a smarter man instead of the stupidest cop since Barney Fife hit Mayberry!. He cannot even protect his own home! Someone (Edward) commits a B and E every single night and the dumb cop never knows!. The only smart parents in the story are the Cool Cullen Parents!. Every other adult is portrayed as a blithering idiot ready for the nursing home!. I would change that!.

I would tone down all the cool cars, cool clothes stuff!. Meaningless kiddie bait!.

I would make Bella less of a social outcast and the poster child for misfit, social outcast kids everywhere!.

I would make her mother less of a tramp and not abandon her daughter for a much younger boy toy!.

THEN I would get rid of all this sparkling, venom and sitting up all night in the big white house crap and return vampires to what they should be -- according to Bram Stoker and the legends in the Carpathias!.

I would improve on the dialogue and eliminate the stupid pickup lines like "You are exactly my brand of heroin"!.

I would NEVER have an adult werewolf imprint on a two year old baby!. That is pedophilia!.

Then I would go back to the roots of what Gothic literature is and add it where it belongs!. That would involve pretty much scrapping everything but the Voluturi scenes which are very gothic and interesting!.

I would tell Alice to mind her own business and allow Bella to plan her own wedding!. In fact, Alice needs ritalin!. There is a reason she was in a nut house when they found her!.

I would put Bella's friends who were in the first book back into the others - instead of allowing Edward to isolate her and keep her away from people!.

I would eliminate her half baked suicide attempt when she jumped off the cliff to "hear his voice"!.

Then I would rewrite a psychological and genuine love story with the Gothic theme as a background that was MUCH better written and I would plug up the plotholes the size of airplane hangers!.

Pax-CWww@QuestionHome@Com

I would rewrite!.!.!. A door near here!. It's about Narnia supposedly, (I didn't know much about copyrights then) and got me thinking it was an adventure when it was a drama and the characters were stuck at home all the time!. When I was done, I felt betrayed by the back cover!.
It's a good book!. But don't expect an adventure!.
I would rewrite it to be an adventure set in a parallel world that is obviously NOT Narnia!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Twilight!. I'd give Bella a backbone, make Edward less "perfect," and use more advanced vocabulary, for starters!. Huh, guess I've changed the whole series (excluding the whole vampire thing) with those first two!.!.!. Oh well!. =)

And I'd rewrite Backwater by Joan Bauer!.!.!. hated that book!.!.!.
Actually, I'd just scrap that one!. No rewrite necessary!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I know that there are some books that you think could be rewritten, but what right has anyone got to even think this!? A book is one person's idea, plot characters, etc, and inasmuch is the authors way of painting the picture!. I sometimes feel I could have done more with someone elses characters and plot, but it is NOT mine to do this!. YOUR WORK is YOUR WORK!. Keep plagiarists at bay!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I would rewrite David Cohen's HOLD TIGHT!. I think his part with the father of the son getting beat up in an alley was a bit overboard and took the story somewhere it didn't need to go!. I didn't see the point and it had no emotional value!.

That is the other thing I can change!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

catcher in the rye,

when he gets in a fight early in the book, i would change that he hit his head on the corner of a table and died ending the book,Www@QuestionHome@Com

The Bible!. I would like for it to not be written in parables for people to fight over the meaning but of course with God's help I would make it crystal clear and not let it be misunderstood!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I would rewrite "Twilight" by Stephenie Meyer!. Though, personally, I don't even know where to begin, it's so messed up and unoriginal!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

If I could rewrite any book, it will be Harry Potter!. In my version, Harry Potter will die, Hermione will commit suicide and Ron will turn into a slug!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I think i would rewrite, Tate Hallaways series as she couldve so much more with them- if she'd have done what i thought she should have it wouldve been like the original Twilight!.!. shes a great author but could go further!!Www@QuestionHome@Com

I'd do Dracula!. I LOVE vampires!. :-) Or Twilight!. :-) *even though I'm not done reading those yet!. lol*

Or Harry Potter!. I LOVE Harry potter, 2!. :-)Www@QuestionHome@Com

probably "where's waldo"
and have everything in black and white except waldo where hes in color (red and white strips i believe)Www@QuestionHome@Com

I would rewrite every Harry Potter, Narnia, and Golden Compass book into soft tissue with Scott brand written on it!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I would re-write Eragon!. Even I could do a better job than Paolini!. Heck, a monkey could do a better job than Paolini!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Harry Potter,
i would make it continue, and if she is to lazy to continue it give it to someone elseWww@QuestionHome@Com

A Room with a View; a great book but but he cheated me of a great romantic ending damnit! Very frustrating!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Everybody Poops by Arnold Shwartz!.
It is very crude!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Ha ha -that evil book The Game written for guys on how to "pick up chicks" b/c it's written offensively!!!Www@QuestionHome@Com

The Bible because there is too many blank spaces in it that doesnt make sense!.!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

If Matrix was a book!. Why did Trinity and Neo have to die!.!.WHYYYY!!?!?!!?!!?!Www@QuestionHome@Com

Balls Away - and make it have a more exciting endingWww@QuestionHome@Com

vampires of the night

~^^~Www@QuestionHome@Com

The bible
Why!?
It was written when people washed their clothes in the sea a long long long time ago!.!.!.
It has NO bearing on how we should or do live our lives!.
Its old and boring and people think it is the owners manual for humans!?!?
We all know that
The Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy is!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

dare i say it!.!.!. the bible!.!.!. my version would make a much better readWww@QuestionHome@Com