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Question: I am 13 i want to know if im a good writer or not!?
from my book, diary of a lucky penny
June 20, 2000
Today something amazing happened! My roll was picked up all of a sudden, and I felt myself being pushed across a flat surface!. The next moment, I was dropped into something dark!. Soft and dark!. A cave, perhaps!? I heard a loud ripping sound, and light flooded into our paper roll!. I screamed with horror as we tumbled into the dark, soft cave!. I fell and bumped against something hard!. I strained my eyes to see whatever it was!. It was black, much bigger than me!. It was smooth and sleek, and had words on it!. I tried to read it!. Verizon Wireless!? Funny name!. I’ve got a much longer name!. In God We Trust Liberty United States Of America E Pluribus Unum One Cent!. I call myself Liberty for short!.
“Hi,” I said to Verizon Wireless!. “I’m Liberty!.”
Verizon Wireless didn’t answer!.
“Hello!? Can you talk!?”
Suddenly, Verizon Wireless lit up!. He made some sort of strange ear-splitting ringing sound, and I quickly rolled back!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
No, I think you're an awesome writer! What a novel idea!. I love the little penny already!. I especially like that it sounds kind of proud that it has a longer name than the Verizon!. If I find this at the book store one day, I'll be sure to snatch it up!.
Are you sure you're only 13!? Well done!. Good luck!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
You should describe seens with feeling/odor/and a deep descriptive word, like gloomy, not soft and dark!. Soft is a feeling, but you can't really feel dark, or see dark, so it's not very much of a helpful saying!. I like the wittyness but I didn't like the fact that you chose Verizon Wirless as the namme for something that isn't a telephone(inless it is, confusing writing leads to unhappy readers)!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Ahaha!. I like it :] For a young writer, you're doing very well!. Just work on more description and "meat" in your writing and being more vivid!. I also agree with the other person; some people may not know what Verizon Wireless is!. If the story continues, make sure you somehow slip it in that it's a phone company!.
The more you write, the better your style will become!. Good luck!Www@QuestionHome@Com
On a 1 to 10 scale i give it a 7, You could of started with something better, "Something odd happened while i was walking" or whatever you were doing at that time or it was also sorta dry in other words boring!. Other then that It was great!Www@QuestionHome@Com
Well it's different!. Ok honestly I have no opinion, from your title I expected some clever piece about a girl that was lucky or something!. You've kind of stumped me, not nessicarily in a good way though!. Your kind of strivinng for words by the way, they're kinda strained!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
The best way to know whether you're a good writer or not, is to submit your works to a publisher!. If they accept your work for publishing, then definitely, you're good! Otherwise, they will give you pointers on how to improve your skills!.
Offhand, I think you're ok!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
That's very good, but I'm afraid some people might not understand what's going on!. I can see that you're very smart, and you give good descriptions of the pocket and cell phone!. I just wonder if illiterate people will understand!. Keep writing, you're good!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
umm!.!.!.try to make the scene a bit more concrete and understandable!. Overall, I think the words are alright!. I just think that you need to make the scene more clearer!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
really confusing but a good start!. keep practising and you will get a lot better!. You are a good writter for a 13 year old!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
For 13 you are not half bad!. Throw some other descriptions in and you will have a good story!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Yes!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Uh!.!.!. it's!.!.!. not bad!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Oh! I seriously thought that was a girl named Penny!. But it's a bit unusual to write from a penny's point of view!. But then I read the real name and I realised it was an actual penny!.
I didn't really understand what happened, but you put good description and you put some tension in the last sentence, which is good!. But can you put something else as a character!? No offense, since it's your imagination, but people might think the story is weird!. But you're not bad, it just needs a bit of improvement!. Good luck!Www@QuestionHome@Com