I need help with my fanfic?

Position:Home>Books & Authors> I need help with my fanfic?

Question:

I need help! My characters Roxas and Axel don't know each other in the beginning of the story so for the dialog I was putting "he said" a lot!. So instead I started putting "the red head said" or the blonde said" but now it sound repetitious what should I do/write!?Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

Number one rule of writing: Say only what is necessary!.

Suppose a married couple are having an argument!. Charlie's come home late again, and Venessa SUSPECTS him of having an affair!.

With her eyes narrowed and her teeth set, she made an effort to steady herself!. There was after all, a chance he hadn't cheated!. It was an outside one she knew, but it was there nonetheless!. And if she accused him of something as awful as infidelity, then discovered later he had been faithful all along!.!.!.
Then I guess I'd be the unfaithful one, wouldn't I!? she thought!.
She raised her eyes after he plopped down onto the sofa beside her!. "Where were you Charlie!?"
"Told you babe, I ran a little late!. Got lost!."
"Oh!? Got lost, huh!?"
"Yeah!. Got lost!. What can I say, it happens!."
"For four hours!?"
He shrugged!. "Like I said, it happens!."
She noted he refused to look at her!. Refused to so much as glance at her!.
Her hands began to tremble!. "Look at me, Charlie!."
"What babe!?"
"I said look at me!."
He turned his head, slow to lift his eyes!.
And that's when she knew!. The remorse, the guilt, the surprise, she imagined they were all right there in his face!.
Oh god, everything she had given him!. Not just her heart, her mind, her body, but her soul as well!. And here he was, about to tear it to pieces as though she didn't matter!. As though no part of their lives mattered!. And for what!? For someone he hardly knew!?
"Why are you looking at me like that, Vanessa!?"
"You know why I'm looking at you, Charlie!. Don't make me say it, please dear god don't!. I gave you too much for you to !.!.!."

Cliched and overly melodramatic, yes!. Writing!? Eh, so-so!. But!.!.!.
How many times did I say, "said" or "say"!? Zero!.
How many times were you confused, and didn't know who was speaking!? Zero!.
Say only what is necessary!. Let your dialogue and principal character's inner thoughts fill in all the rest!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I know many authors will tell you that you can never overuse "said," but I disagree!. When I write something that's very dialogue-heavy, I'll break up the various "s/he saids" by substituting action or description!. It's not something you want to do with every sentence, obviously, but it does make it less monotonous!.

For example:
"Why would you say that!?" she asked!.
He rubbed the bridge of his nose!. "I don't know!. These things just slip out sometimes!. I--"
"Well maybe you should try thinking a little before you open your mouth," she said, her mouth pressed into a thin line!. "That is, if you're even capable of rational thought!." With that, she turned on her heel and stalked off!.
He stared after her!. "Jeez, I was just trying to help!."

(Terrible dialogue, but you get the idea!.)

Two things you want to be careful about are: using synonyms for said ("yelled", "exclaimed", "snarled", "whispered"), and adding adverbs ("said dramatically", "said proudly", "said softly")!. These can be helpful tools, but only when used sparingly!.

Writing dialogue is like making a salad--you need the right balance of lettuce with toppings!.Www@QuestionHome@Com