I need multiple opinions!!!!!!!!?

Question: I need multiple opinions!!!!!!!!!?

Ok so I wrote a story well began!. Its really a work-in-progress!. All my friends like and my sister does too!. I'm not sure how reliable they are because they are code to me!. If u could please let me know what you think I'd really appreciate it!. Thanks so much!

Its on this website:
www!.freewebs!.com/lindsaykute/writings!.!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

Hm!.!.!. I like it, but the last few chapters were confusing!. I didn't get the whole freshmen and senior relationship thing!. They didn't have a 4 year age difference did they!?!?!? And I also thought that Charles was Holly's cousin and that's how Holly met up again with Matt!. So how would he not know his own cousin!?!?!? And how would he like his cousin like that!?!!?! Plus, some of your story is in past tense, while the rest was in present, which can be fixed with some simple editing so no need to worry! Oh, and by the way the link you gave wasn't working!. I fiddled around with it and the correct link is

http://www!.freewebs!.com/lindsaykute/writ!.!.!.

So it was pretty good and has a lot of potential!. Just revise the last few chapters and add some details and I think you will have a very nice story!. You should make the characters more complex to!. Good luck and keep writing!!!Www@QuestionHome@Com

I looked you up on freewebs!. I think that the chapters need more development!. It is obviously not finished!. The characters are also not very well developed!. Some of the descriptions were lengthy and meaningless!. Work on sentence organization and remember to proof-read what you write!. Consider taking a creative writing class!. also, the casual sex seems a bit tacky!. If it is going to be a romance novel, then the sex needs to be a bit more descriptive!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

The link is not working!. Open up the page of your story, go up to the toolbar and right click and copy the URL!. then paste it here and it will create a link that people can just click on!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

i love youWww@QuestionHome@Com

Er!.!.!.the link doesn't work!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

the page didnt work : /Www@QuestionHome@Com

sorry cant see it!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com