Position:Home>Books & Authors> Is this an okay intro for fictional story?
Question: Is this an okay intro for fictional story!?
This intro does not have too much detail into the past of the character because, well, it's an intro and some things are not meant to be known yet!. Anyway, the character's name is Denver and he pretty much wants to take over the magic kingdom!. (In the nicest way possible) Which is the setting!. But after being shot down, seeks revenge!. So after reading this please leave me an answer of if you liked it (Or think I am extremely talented!. *wink* Heheh!. *shot*) or if you have ideas of making it a better "opening"!.
With my eyes locked fully on the artistry of new creation, I pondered how the world had changed on me in such a short amount of time!. Memories of my not-so-distant history came back to me like they had many times during these past few months!. How could I have changed so much!? I scribbled down more notes and sketches in my notebook!. “They will be sorry they abandoned me!.” I smiled, pleased by the thought of creating something new that would outwit them all and bring me back toWww@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Umm!.!.!. WOW!!!!
I loved it!
I thought it was great and sounded so interesting!
And your first paragraph with your little ( ) were hilarious! You should hve foot notes like that in your story!. Have you ever read the Bartimaeus trilogy by Jonathan Stroud!? He wrote footnotes and they were soooo hilarious!!!
I believe you are very talented, it was great writing, and I loved your style!
Keep going and good luck!!
And, umm, if you write more and need someone to read and/or critique it, I would absolutely love to! Email me at harvest_moon_fan1@yahoo!.com
:)Www@QuestionHome@Com
Its pretty neat, I actually like it
I think that a point in the story should be where he gets down and begins to realize that making it to the top cant be all that and just give up and soon tryy to take it over again!. :)Www@QuestionHome@Com
That's a really good introduction for your fictional story!. Very good idea, I would like to add!. I would love to hear more of it!. I would read it!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
I liked everthing but the name "Magic Kingdom" it reminded me too much of disney world!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Pretty good! I agree with the person above me and the Disney thing, though :)
Good Luck! :)Www@QuestionHome@Com
i liked it!.!. i dont really like stories like that but it was a very good intro!.!. keep writing im sure your book will come out greatWww@QuestionHome@Com
I didn't want to read on, but I'm also not a fan of the genre (I think it was fantasy)!. It does seem well written though!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
yes i do believe you have talent and that was a very good introWww@QuestionHome@Com
yes, hmm!.!.!. how did u learn to write like that ^^"Www@QuestionHome@Com
The intro does what it should - makes me want to read more!.
I would just streamline it a little to help the flow:
With my eyes locked on the artistry of new creation, I pondered how the world had changed on me in such a short time!. Memories of my not-so-distant history came back like they had many times during the past few months!. How could I have changed so much!? I scribbled more notes and sketches in my notebook!. "They'll be sorry they abandoned me!." I smiled, pleased by the thought of creating something new that would outwit them all and bring me back to!.!.!.
also, inner dialog is often written in italics so as not to confuse it with other dialog!. (I mention this aware that you can't do it on in text box and may very well have it in italics on your manuscript!. Good luck!Www@QuestionHome@Com