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Question: Based on this, could I make it as a writer!?
This is not going anywhere, I just wrote it as an example!.!.!.
A night walker wonders through the fog, trying to stay as much out of sight as he can!. The superstitions of the land would condemn him for crimes he could not commit!. His long locks of black hung around his face in a misshapen manner but they did their job in concealing his face well!. The most distinguishing features on a Vampire should be hidden from the riotous towns folk at all coasts!. The night animal’s song brought no comfort to him this night!. His father’s phantom haunted him in every alleyway and he did not yet know how to escape the memories!. So he would run until he found a way!. But what he would run into on the road could be the turning point of his life so far…Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
It's an interesting concept!. I'm hesitant to evaluate this, since so much of the publishing business has to do with story rather than writing, but since I'd hope someone would do the same for me, I'll give you an honest critique!.
The execution is novice, and there are many spelling and grammar errors!. You over-describe, concentrating on the writing rather than the story!. The mark of a good commercial novel is when the reader doesn't ever notice the writing!. It feels heavy, weighed down and muddled by the description and jumps from idea to idea without stopping to explain where your character is or what he's up to!.
You're not bad by any means - this is better than most of the other writing examples that crop up on Yahoo! Answers!. But never, ever, ever sacrifice story for the sake of description!. Flow and pacing is extremely important, and rather than knowing about what the character *looks* like, I'd much rather know what the character's personality is like!.
Trust the reader to fill in the blanks that you don't necessarily state!. We're smart, we'll get them, I promise! :o)
Otherwise, keep writing, keep reading, and don't be afraid to learn!. Even best-selling authors are still learning their craft!. It isn't something you're necessarily born with, it's something you have to work at day after day after day, and it sometimes takes decades before publishable material emerges!. Don't be discouraged! Read as much as you can, and keep learning!.
Best of luck to you!Www@QuestionHome@Com
Maybe, but I wouldn't buy it!. Vampire stories!.!.!.!.have been done to death!. A Vampire with Father issues!.!.!.!.!.!.doesn't sound appealing!. A vampire alcoholic that goes out to prey on annoying bar people!.!.!.ahhh! That's an idea! (And researching what types are out there of annoying bar patrons!.!.!.!.rewarding!.) Second, this reads like you would buy it from an airport!. All this state of mind stuff!.!.!.!.!.boring!. Let's see action!. (From the philosopher Townshend!.)Www@QuestionHome@Com
The writing isn't horrible or anything, but the sentence rhythm needs more variation, the narration needs more voice, etc!.
Lack of transition between thoughts!.
Description is pretty good, not too much not too little!.
Hard to tell if you'll "make it" just from the selection, but the idea is interesting!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
You can definitely tell that you're seeing what you're describing!. And that's the first step, I think!.
Go from here, and continue learning and expanding!. YOu have a really good place to start, just reading this, but practice will only help you!.
Hope to purchase a novel of your's one day~ Good luck~Www@QuestionHome@Com
Well, I'm a succesful writer and I say you have what it takes to enter the world as a writer!. If you need any help on anything contact me on my business E-Mail which is wolfmax95@hotmail!.com !. I write mostly horror/scary just so you know!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
it's interesting!. it's 99% perspiration 1% inspiration to get something finished and ready to go out the door!. you will only succeed if you try!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
well the third word should be 'wanders' and make sure you stay in the same tense!. but to answer your question, yes I think you could make it!. Keep writing and good luckWww@QuestionHome@Com
It needs some editing, but it sounds really good, and I'm not even into that genre really!. Sure you could!.Www@QuestionHome@Com