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Question: Read My Rough start of a Story Please, & Tell me what you think!.!?
Go here to read the start (Not even 3 pages):

http://viewer!.zoho!.com/docs/ua5jdb



I know I don't have the central idea exposed here, but I have a few things that give a little away about what it's going to be about!.

What do you think about it!?

If it were a book would you read it!?

What do you think is going to happen throughout the book!?

How can I avoid being the cliche teen novel, with what I have here!?

What else could I add/subtract from it to make it better!?

& Lastly!. !. !. !. !.

What author do I most resemble that you have read!?Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Okay my dear Morgarita, am I being punked!? This was very nice!. Certainly a good, borderline read!. If it was a book I would definitely read and I hope you share more!. As for what I HOPE will happen is soon we will see the character as she is speaking to us!. In other words the narrative feels like she is telling me a story, so when do I see her!. In screenplays for instance most of this would be voice over and scenery!. At some point we would meet the person doing the voice over, i!.e!. writing a journal (so overdone) talking to a friend or a small group or just being honest and facing the screen (Steve Martin Father Of The Bride) So to avoid the cliche teen novel, avoid a love triangle, snippy teachers, being rude to parents!. Write it as a Camelot of "good thing happen to me" and then conclude with "no body is as cool as they look like"!.

As for a resemblance, I don't read many teenage novels so I would have to pass on that!. It does read/narrate like the beginning of several movies though!. (Nancy Meyers)

Hope this helps!. Please email me more as you write I would love to read and give my opinion (if asked)!.

Great job and see you at the TOP!

p!.s!. I think you asked about my book before, email me at rws77@yahoo!.com and I will share info!.
rwWww@QuestionHome@Com

That was an incredibly good begining!. It made me think about an inteligent independent teenage girl stuck in the middle of a life of chaos!. I would read the book, but it definitely needs to be longer!. The begining made it seem more like a short story, rather than a novel, and the first couple pages didnt really set up the rest of the story!. If you did make it into a clique teen novel it would be fantastic, and you would have a larger audience!. If you didnt want to do that then you could make a different conflict more evident in a later chapter!. I wouldnt know where to start as far as authors go, but I do know that reading lots of books can give you experience with lots of different writing styles!. Overall, that was a terrific rough draft!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I have to say, if it was a published book- I would not read it!. I really resent the books that portray highschool as a complete wasteland; a place that revolves nothing around learning or extracurriculars, but socialization and petty squabbles between groups of kids!. It gives pre-highschool kids a false image of what highschool is truly like and I wish that just ONCE, a book about highschool life could go the duration without mentioning stereotypes or cliques!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

yes! while i was reading it, it sounded like it was written by one of those famous writers like sherridan, rowling!.!.!.etc!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

1!.i loved it
2!.yes i would read it


I like to write as well but i dont get to far in my storyies lolWww@QuestionHome@Com

i loved it but not inapporiate langageWww@QuestionHome@Com

It wasn't too bad!. Although, at first, I felt like it was an autobiography or something!. It just didnt get me into the mode of it being a book!. Hard to explain but I would read it!. It kinda reminds me too much of Desperate Housewives since you put that in there!. I agree that you should add more things that make them different from any other people!. Oh and I thought the same thing about the girl thats specialty is cheesecake!. You should add in that she eats them rather than makes them!. Add in more funny things and a better introduction because it was too boring!. I still don't know quite what is going to happen except about her walking into her room with the boxes and paint!. Good luck though!Www@QuestionHome@Com

I like it and I have no idea what's going to happen!. I think you should make it a little funnier!. Like for example!.!. When you said that girl she works with her "specialty is cheescake" what if you added to it, she eats them with strawberries,blueberries, and occasioanaly will make one!. It adds humor if eating something, rather than making something, is her specialty!.

I was interested all of the way to the end so I think I would definitely read it!

Unless the intense descriptions of the neighbors are important maybe narrow them out a little or make the neighbors even more quirky!. What if the neighbor who is all about his lawn even trimmed it with regular house scissors!? I just think little quirky things like that and the cheesecake suggestion keep you rolling along while reading a book and not realize you were reading as long as you were!Www@QuestionHome@Com

I applaude your decision to write!. Keep at it!.
Details are good, but not all at once!. With the exception of diologue, there are an awful lot of different subject matters to absorb in this small number of pages!.
Not that these subject matters shouldn't be introduced!. But they need to be spaced slightly apart, with more time devoted to each one, if you want it to flow better!.
A little more description on each subject will help calm the pace down a bit!. At the rate this is going, it seems like the book will be over in ten pages, with a very dizzy reader left behind!.
Not that it is too fast, just too much info, too quickly, about too many different things !. A more organized format will benefit you and the reader!.
When the format is more organized, the writer can go back and add details where they belong, with much greater ease!.
For example, if you remember that the guy who works at the bakery has a hooked hand, it would be difficult to go back and add it, with the way things are now, without thinking it some kind of foreshadowing!.
For an idea of perfect flow, read a columnist's story in a magazine of your choice!. These people are not just experts in their feild, but also masters at proper writing!.
I became much better at writing after I subscribed to motorcycle magazines!. The stories from the editors (who were achieved motorcylists,ex racers, engineers or mechanics) were very entertaining and read well!. They were non-fiction, but they didn't have to be!.
The use of poplular literary devices were still present!.
Don't be afraid of those, cuz they will bring great depth to the story!.Www@QuestionHome@Com