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Question: Constructive criticism about a book!?
Ok, so I started writing the first "book" in my life!. I know that it's not that great, and so far I only have 2 chapters!.!.!.
Well, what I'm asking is that, could you read it and give me some criticism, no matter how harsh it'll be (so far I've only gotten only one criticism and it's positive, and that doesn't help me much with my future writing)!. And I know that I'm not good enough at writing for it to be no negatives!.!.!.
Thanks to anyone who will read (:
http://www!.writerscafe!.org/writing/rosar!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
You wrote yourself that you knew that it wasn't that great!. At least you're not cocky and so positive that this "book" is the next best thing!. Your modesty is realistic, so you should be able to understand this:
Here's a quote from some guy in a pub (another wannabe writer told me this) : "No matter how talented you are, your first 1000 pages will be crap!." Even if you were a writing prodigy, what you wrote first will be crap compared to your full potential!.
I read the first chapter, but, honestly, was not interested enough to continue!. Sorry!. I really wasn't so amused by the girls' language!. It seems that the girls were older, but your writing was less mature - it gave me the feeling that fifth graders were cussing!. The dialoge was pretty plain, except for the swears tossed in here and there!. Expand the girls' characters!. Both are as regular as they speak!.
Here is another issue - it was obvious that the place in her dream was real, and that she would find it!. In some rough-draft stories, dreams like this can afford to be undone, but in yours, you've made it a major point!. Find another way for the girl to find the lake!. Have Sarah scare her into!. Just not that dream!. Ask family for ideas!.
And why does the vampire have to know her dream!? Why does he pull his charm on her, instead of just pouncing on her!? For some reason, before you wrote so, I could tell this guy was a vampire!. Then he said so, completely casually!. Does he have to tell you!? It was a bit lame!.
If you wish to continue this vampire story, I'd say you should work on your writing-style and your plot!. The more you write, the better you get, and the more questions you ask yourself, the more advanced your plot will develope!. For now, focus on your plot!. A good story can surpass average story-telling!. And read lots of books!
Good luck with your future writing career!Www@QuestionHome@Com
Well here's something you can fix, in the first sentence of the first chapter: Halloween was right around the corner and like every year, Samantha and her friend had to do something dumb!. One of the DO NOT'S of writing is make sure you don't have "like" so often!. Like is a word that people use a lot that isn't proper in English!. When reading the first chapter I saw that you had the word "like" used often, try not to include so many "likes!." Besides that, I thought it was great! I couldn't write that good even if it was my first time! Good luck and I hope to see your writing someday!Www@QuestionHome@Com
in the beginning when she asks what 'it' is it makes more sense to say what is 'it', nothing major i just got a little confused
heard -a- billion times(dont forget the a) or s at the end
she felt chill(s)
sam started walking forward until she found a small lake- maybe its your story these are only suggestions
she ran up to her
when describing the 'most beautiful guy ever' dont be afraid to really get in detail so the readers will know what your seeing in your head
"you knew that i'd be here!?"
just proof read but otherwise good story line--good luck and once again you dont have to argree with anything i said its your story =)Www@QuestionHome@Com