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Question: Chapter 1, What do you think!?
Chapter 1:
I heard Sarah yelling "Hey N'Cole"! I didn't really like Sarah but she was a good friend and who doesn't need a good friend!. Summer had just ended and it was time to listen to Sarah ramble on and on about her summer full of romance and passion!. This rambling usually only lasted a week or so!. That is until someone new showed up!. See Sarah is that girl who isn't gorgeous but isn't ugly either!. She is very desirable due to her amazing personality!. I mean when it comes down to it Sarah isn't so bad and I do like her it's just sometimes I find myself jealous of her and I hate it and end up hating her for it!.
"N'Cole, N'Cole" "I have the most amazing story to tell you"
"Oh here we go again with the stories, Sarah it's always the same story with a different guy, why don't we just save sometime and tell me his name I remember the story"!
Oh boy do I remember those stories!. Her family goes away for the summer every your and every year it's somewhere new!. How do they afford that you ask!? Well its simple her dad Frank owns his own business buying people's ideas!. My favorite idea he bought was the digital picture frame!. Apparently some young teen needed a quick buck and got paid $150 dollars for the rights!. It's a shame for the kid since the digital frames run no less than $150 brand new!. Luckily for me I got one for free!. As for my favorite story Sarah has told me!. It all happened the summer they went to Hawaii and she fell in love or so she calls it love!. Not with the cute beach guy but the towel boy at her hotel!. If I remember correctly she met John or maybe it was Jay, (No it was John) from returning her pool towel!. John had some questionable story about getting hit by a car and was thus stuck being a towel boy!. Well Sarah being Sarah thought he was cute and agreed to see him while she was there!. They met up on the beach way late at night, held hands, and walked all through out the beach!. She said "It had been the most romantic thing ever!" Although personally I find water to always make a romantic setting!. I don't find a late night Ronde-Vu with the towel boy to be romantic!. They didn't work out, her summer flings never did!. That was always her choice and a wise choice at that!. The thing about this story that made it my favorite was that on her last night at the hotel Mr!.Towelboy thought he was going to get lucky!. Even though I find Sarah over uses the word love she at least has some morals I can agree with!. The "No Sex" policy is one of my favorites!. Well not only did he make the mistake of trying to get lucky he tried to do it in a hammock!. Apparently getting shoved out of a hammock may lead to a broken arm and in the case of John a broken ego as well!.
That annoying, leave your ears ringing, bell for class rang!.
"That's the bell I don't want to be late on the first day see you at lunch N'Cole"
Our first year of school here at Broken Ridge High School as freshmen we had all but one class together!. Being good friends + having the same class=cheating and too much of each other!. So from sophomore year on we chose not to take a class together if possible, not having the same class really made us value out time together more, as for the cheating well sometimes you just have to!. I shut my very ugly purple locker, looked down the hall, and began my walk to 1st hour!. First period wasn't so bad I really did like the idea of psychology!. The things you can discover and recover my only thing is that if your mind doesn't remember it, it must not be that important or maybe you forgot it for a reason!. Well my five other classes were boring as usual except my final class English!. I just love English it has always been on top of my favorite's list, but this year my teacher made it out like it is going to be my best year of English ever!.
I am not a big fan of writing and it looks like we are going to be doing a lot of it this year!. Mrs!. Cromwell my English teacher gave us a list of supplies and five 100 page notebooks was first on that list followed by 1 binder, dividers, pens, pencils and 10 packs of filler paper!. With all those supplies I can only see large amounts of essays and papers in my future!. All throughout the day I would turn left or turn right and I was always catching someone in a stare and before I could even say “Hi” or even acknowledge them they would turn away!.
Sarah offered to give me a ride home from school and I gladly accepted seeing how my truck was in the shop and would be there for a while since the accident!. Although I don't care too much as to what people think about me, riding a bus full of smelly freshmen guys as a senior just isn't too highly looked upon!.
One thing you notice when driving through Broken Ridge is that the houses are all very small one to three bedroom one floor homes!. The house's may all be small but not one looks the same and you never know what will be in someone's front yard!. I vividly remember last year the Brooklyn boys got a hold of Mr!. Larks chicken and had tied him up by the foot to a steak in the ground!. That chicken squawked uncontrollably and if I remember right they were using it as bait to catch a dinosaur like off of Jurassic Park since they couldn't find a goat!.
Finally we pulled into my driveway!. Sarah love's coming over and I think it's because my house is the one exception to the one story small home usual out here!. Now don't get me wrong I love my home but it's not exactly the first thing you think of when you hear five bedroom three bathroom home!. The old wooden house could use some paint and our lawn could use some tending but I just keep procrastinating!. One thing I do truly love is the big oak tree out front I used to climb to get to my secret spy station!. There are still probably melted peach rings on the high branches from me trying to catch them in my mouth but unfortunately they always seemed to go up too high!.
I was about to shut the door to Sarah's very cute Toyota corolla (!?) when she stopped me saying!.
"Hey do you want to pick up our school stuff tonight"!?
"Sure thing Sarah"
"Alright I'll be back here in a couple of hours when I finish dinner"!.
I shut the door and walked all the way up my driveway listening to the gravel crunch under my feet to the front door!. Opening the door to my house and looking in all you can see is out living room to the left with our medium sized T!.V!. and the mix matched couches!. If you look right you can see out kitchen!. It isn't in the best shape but it isn't so bad!. Since my mom left when I was nine I've had to step up my cooking skills!. My dear old dad couldn't melt butter if his life depended on it!. I grabbed an apple from the fridge, pretzels from the pantry, and headed up the stairs past the guest room with a bathroom for the guests we never had!. I climbed the wretched stairs everyday but occasionally I saved sometime and would just fall down them!. My dad was never much of a decorator that was usually my mother's job and when she left she took everything from their room!. Leaving my dad with a queen bed, brown bedding, his mom's antique armoire, and a "15 Inch" Television he always leaves on when he sleeps!. I tend to be a late night; don't need much sleep kind of girl so I usually turn it off for him!.
At the end of the hall there are two doors one to your left and one to the right!. To the left will lead to what was going to be my brothers or sisters rooms if they ever had anymore children!. Fortunately for me that didn't end up happening!. Since my mother left my dad gave me free will with the house!. I decide to use that freewill to turn these two medium sized rooms into one very large library office combo!. Of course I had to take down a wall and let me tell you it’s not as easy as it sounds!. You have to do more than take a sledge hammer to a wall!. Even though it was harder than I had planned it was worth it!. This room is my favorite room and my second favorite place to be!. Part of the reason it’s my favorite is for the mere fact that I have spent so many endless hours dedicated to this room!. I took down my old spy station and used the planks to build the bookshelves that go from floor to ceiling!. Since there wasn't enough wood from my station my dad volunteered to bring me some wood home from work at the wood, rock, and tree store!. This if I say so is the best one in State!. He also helped me put them together and align them seeing as my eye sight isn't so great!.
My mother and I were never close and when she left she said "Good-Bye and left!." Before she could leave I'd asked her to let me have her books seeing as our love and passion for books was the only thing we had in common!. She delightfully left them in my possession saying "Books are people, the lives they lived, and their most interworkings so take care of them as if they were your family and friends!. Know that when you look at someone they are just a story waiting to be written!.” Those were her last words to me so I guess it comes as no surprise that she left to California to become an author!. It's her books that started filling the wraparound bookshelves but it is my books that will complete them!.
In one corner is a desk with a computer and printer centered on it, a filing cabinet is to the left filled with my elementary paintings, old pictures, and my high school papers!. In the center of the room there are two very ugly couches that I reupholstered, a lounge chair I bought from the Broken Ridge community garage sale for $10 dollars!. Smack dab in the middle of the seating is a fake fire place I built!. It's some big rocks around a cut up tree branch with orange, yellow, and red construction paper cut out to look like flames!. I guess you could say I am a pretty resourceful, independent, creative girl with a whole lot of free time!.
Going through the right door would enter into my room!. What a glorious room it is!. My room is all about me!. The things I love like my pet fish!. All ten of my exotic fish make up the 40 gallon tank lining up against one wall!. On the other wall is my closet filled with old trophies, random boxes full of meaningless stuff I can't seem to get rid of, and my very small collection of clothes!. In the center of the room lays my prized possession the master of all queen waterbeds!. Hopping on my bed I rolled over and fell asleep!.Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Why are you writing this!. Unless its for a class and you're being forced to write, I suggest that you stop!.

After reading chapter one, you'd have to pay me to read chapter two!. I dont't understand why anyone would want to read about your utterly boring, completely average existence as a run-of-the-mill high school student!.

Your descriptions are terrible!. For instance, "your medium sized TV"!. Even worse was your description of your friend!. "Sarah is that girl who isn't gorgeous but isn't ugly either!."

You spent absolutely no time on this and it shows!. It reads like you just started typing about a few things you remembered!. If you have a story to tell that you think we'd want to hear, then that's fine!. But your first chapter should be relevent to that story!.

also, your spelling and grammar and punctuation need improvement!. Ronde-Vu, unless your spelling is some kind of joke, should be spelled rendezvous!.

You tell us absolutely nothing interesting about yourself!. What you do tell us about yourself, gives an impression of a below average intelligence, boring person!.

Frequently, you pass up opportunities to do so!. Why not at least humor us with some antecdotes!. Like: How do you cheat!? What are your trophys for!?Www@QuestionHome@Com

it was wierd i dint et where the taco came in!? what was with taht!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

sorry but i think no 1 is gonna read ur question!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

pretty good!. descriptive but a bit oddWww@QuestionHome@Com