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Question: Help!!!!! I'm 13 and writing a story and it needs lots of rivison!?
kk here it is called forticus!. I sheathed my` newly bloodied sword I looked at the corpse that was being dragged of the roman stadium!. I cant do this any more I thought as I left the stadium herring the bloodthirsty crowd cheering Forticus grimaced from the pain his opponent caused by stabbing him in the leg!. I wiped the sweat from by bangs as I left the stadium!. I went to my cage the thing he called home!. I tossed and turned on my pallet remembering the past events the reason why he was in this terrible place!.Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
It's sounds good, just a few grammatical errors!. Here you go:

!. I sheathed my` newly bloodied sword!. I looked at the corpse that was being dragged of the roman stadium!.
"I cant do this any more!." I thought as I left the stadium!. Hearing the bloodthirsty crowd cheering, Forticus grimaced from the pain his opponent caused by stabbing him in the leg!. I wiped the sweat from by bangs as I left the stadium!. I went to my cage, the thing he called home!. I tossed and turned on my pallet remembering the past events, the reason why he was in this terrible place!.

Just a suggestion: I have heard a lot of stories about people posting stories or poems on the internet and other people taking them and claiming them for there own!. just be careful!. ;)Www@QuestionHome@Com

hello, who is Forticus anyway!? Just another unknown dweeb, who made too much trouble!? HOW did he bother you, anyway!? Maybe you have the beginnings of a story, but you need to FILL the experience more!. We'll be waiting!. : }Www@QuestionHome@Com

are you writing in first person or third are you like are you the main character or notWww@QuestionHome@Com

what's your question!? sounds fine i guess but no ideas what it was about you know cause i haven't read the rest!.Www@QuestionHome@Com