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Question: The funniest thing about romance novels!?
What do you find hilarious about romance novels!?
To get you started, here's my contribution:
The phrase "heaving bosoms"!. Are you serious!? When I think of heaving, I picture a drunk person hanging over the toilet heaving their guts out!.
Okay, now it's your turn!
P!.S!. I'm sure there are some very good romance novels out there!. I don't mean to insult the whole genre, only the truly clichéd ones!. I only read a couple before giving up on the genre, since unfortunately I was laughing 'at' the books, not 'with' them!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
1!. Despite whatever flea-bitten, smell-ridden, bog-tromping, rough-sailing environment, no one itches, scratches, throws up or ever has to use the bathroom!. The sole exemption from this is when the heroine comes down with a convenient plague, or typhoid, and the hero takes on full nursing chores and is up to his ankles in ladysh*t for three weeks, just so the pale and weak heroine can have a dawning realization that he has seen her without her chemise!.
2!. The moon is nearly always full!.
3!. At some point, the heroine runs down the road in her nightgown holding a lit candle!.
4!. Cortland's Law: Every few pages, throw in a page of irrelevant historical detail!.
5!. Considering that most romance novels are set in periods where people rarely if ever bathed, and dental hygiene was primitive, the prospect of a night of passion-filled love-making with no holds barred gets kind of gross!.
6!. Heroes are nearly always dark and brooding, with piercing eyes!.
7!. Everyone casts their eyes, but it's never written when they're picked up, or how they sort them out!.
8!. Why is there always a horse (excuse me, steed) ready and waiting!?Www@QuestionHome@Com
I laughed as well, but I read a lot of them (well, about ten maybe) because a couple are classics (Gone With the Wind!. I always think of that as a romance book!. [!?] --) and the kid was reading about one a day!.
I found the clothing interesting: boots and crinoline, whale-bone corsets, you know; in EVery book!. [!]
The man who will marry/save/change the heroine is always her enemy at the beginning, or frightens her in some way!.
The heroine can't extricate herself from her problems, and sometimes makes them worse, but is, of course beautiful and rich without being aware of it!.
The hero is 'ironic' and 'brilliant' and 'sardonic', etc!., besides being, as the kid said in her youth, "buff!."
Are you making a list for an assignment!?
(laughing)
And you're right, there are some good romance books out there!.
I thought 'Forever Amber' wasn't so bad!.
But I can't recall anything about it except the title!. Hmm!.
ADD: which makes me think, to answer your question properly: names!.
Amber
Bambie
Blake
Winnie
GarethWww@QuestionHome@Com
so many romance novels take themselves way too seriously!.!. put in some sex, but more humor than sex other wise the whole this is just unbearable to read - 200 pages of the protagonist raving on (in her own mind of course,,,,out loud wouldn't be seemly) about repetitive, boring crap about how he is never going to love her like she loves him etc!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
If you want to get a good laugh (and quite some snarkiness) check out http://www!.smartbitchestrashybooks!.com/!?
That blog, despite its title, also has been listed in PC Magazine's top 10 blogs of the year!. Even non-romance lovers like to visit!.
Anyway, for me, it is one word (or rather two): man root!. 'nuff said!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
voluptuous thighs - just guessing but they would be really big ones!?
And - 'his manhood' not what we say in the real world!Www@QuestionHome@Com
"my breast beats" Holy crap!Www@QuestionHome@Com
romantic stuffWww@QuestionHome@Com