In Need of A Male Monologue!!!?

Question:i need a monologue for a 16 year old guy that is only a minute long and really funny..not the corny funny either..nothing shakesperian something like "jack" off "will and grace" would say..or johnny depp..and if it is not funny, something that is really good in your opinion..i have looked at the websites for the other posts on here but those don't really help..if you know a good movie or show that has one please tell me..thanks a lot!

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: i need a monologue for a 16 year old guy that is only a minute long and really funny..not the corny funny either..nothing shakesperian something like "jack" off "will and grace" would say..or johnny depp..and if it is not funny, something that is really good in your opinion..i have looked at the websites for the other posts on here but those don't really help..if you know a good movie or show that has one please tell me..thanks a lot!

http://www.artsonthemove.co.uk/resources... scroll down to Alan Duckworth's monologue...if you play it right it'll be very funny.

Or there's this, which is odd, but potentially very good...from a play called Charge by Eric Kaiser.

GEORGE: Ahh. B. Nero 37981. My arch nemesis. My Diablo. My personal Beelzebub. Do you have your own personal Beelzebub? I have my own personal Beelzebub. He's a good one. He's a damn good one. He got my toe last week. That is the only toe I plan to let him have. We have a headsurfing rematch tonight. A rematch with my arch nemesis. He gave a good game, I'll give it to him, it was good. A good game, I love a good game, I'm not saying that he cheated or got lucky or anything, he had a damn good game. But I swear on Bill Gates himself, that I will have his toe above my head while I sleep tonight. That will be fourteen toes. Fourteen. Twenty three according to your thinking. What do you wanna bet I win tonight? Huh? What you wanna bet? Anything. I'll bet you anything I win tonight. I'll bet you a toe I get his toe tonight. HA! That would be two toes tonight I could win. That would be fifteen toes. Or twenty four. You wanna bet a toe I get his toe? Nah, you don't wanna bet that. I'm tired of betting pinkie toes. I need to up the stakes y'know. At first betting toes was exciting. This is the last toe I bet. After I win B. Nero 37981's toe. I gotta find something else to bet. Did B. Jones 42132's toe arrive yet? Why is there not a little beggar with his toe in my door? That's my thirteenth toe. Thirteen. He was easy. No challenge. He's no B. Nero 37981

Do a little research on the play. Here's the full script: http://www.theatrehistory.com/plays/char...

Rule of thumb: avoid movie monologues. I don't know what you need it for, but movie monologues tend to be "iconic", meaning that we identify the actor who did it with the monologue and it's "frozen in time" forever. There's a permanent record of it and you'll always be compared to that actor's performance.

Check your local library under "monologues for teens" or do an internet search for "monologues for teens".

Make sure it's age-appropriate, too.

--hamkap