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Question: A poem i wrote, confusion!?
just your everyday catholic girl,
in my step there's a spring, in my hair there's a curl,
on my neck there's a necklace of pearl,
but sometimes my situation makes me want to hurl!.

sometimes i feel like these churches,
with their rules and their birches,
and their quite unneeded searches
is not right for my researches!.

what to do about this situation,
i just don't know about creation,
throw my life into precipitation
hoping to find a brand new nation!?

it's a sin to question god,
punishable by the rod,
but somehow i feel it's rather odd,
and can't help but question if it's all a facade!.

just your everyday catholic girl,
in my step there's a spring, in my hair there's a curl,
on my neck there's a necklace of pearl,
i'm just your everyday catholic girl!.

*sigh* well, what do u think!? is it too "cliche" - please be honest but don't be too harsh <3Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
It reads rather "inexperienced",and ,as you rightly say "cliched"!.
You can do better!. You did try hard to rhyme everything neatly,which isn't necessary!.
Try free verse,try to be creative with your adjectives!.

I have been honest!Www@QuestionHome@Com