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Question: Its a bit silly!. But i just thought it!. And i simply made it up!. Critiques!?

Your love crashes over me
like the surfer's swell
that giant wave
pulling me into the undertow

standing there innocently
until you come along
then it hits me
pulling me into the undertow

like a tsunami
tsunami of love
wipes out the entire village
the village of my life

the undertow tugs at my sanity
what would i be without you anymore!?
the village is crushed
a new beginning

the village of my life
different now, with purpose
no one is there then
saving me from the undertow

the village now flourishes
all thanks to the undertow
something so terrible
turned so beautiful

new life
new beauty
new love
new feelings

as the village rebuilds
it grows stronger
bonded now
with the undertowWww@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
It is an obvious free verse poem, which is really the 'hip' thing!. Maybe as the poet, instead of blatantly telling the reader the connection between you and the village, just write the poem with the tsunami described as love and then describe the village!. At the end leave the rebuilding part, but maybe transition from a village to a heart!? Metaphor and parallelism can definitely help the poem, which you already have major examples, but I wouldn't make the metaphor so obvious to the reader!. Very nice start though, a reader can definitely feel the terror and the love that is the result of such chaos!. Good luck, and keep up the good work!Www@QuestionHome@Com

Very creative!.!.!. But I think 'tsunami' and 'giant waves' are a bit too strong!.!.!. When it comes to love poems, I will usually attribute the emotion with flowers!.!.!. From the bud to a full bloomed flower!.!.!. But I guess that is up to individual preferences!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

amazing work
i enjoyed itWww@QuestionHome@Com

its alrite but i dont get itWww@QuestionHome@Com