Question Home

Position:Home>Poetry> Poem I wrote a couple of minutes ago ...?

Question: Poem I wrote a couple of minutes ago !.!.!.!?
Here is a poem I just wrote, it's not very long, and I haven't even thought it over and corrected it!. I just want to put it out here right now!. I can take criticism!. Here it is :

She lays there torn apart, the pieces of her spread all over the ground!. If she could only find her arms, so she could find her feet, she could pull herself together!. But then, in the core of her sobs she realizes she still has one part attached & it's pushing everything else farther away!. But, how did it survive, when everything else is gone!? The answer is, it survived the crash, but it broke!. Soon it will be gone, too!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
WWOWW thats litterly very touchingg! good job!!
o ) o

It's good
Just break it up so that way the lines have more meaning!.
and also I would add some clarity!. For example, is there a significance of why the last body part is the only one that survived!? why is this significant and what does that say about the girl and what is happening to her!.

But over all it's good!. nice work !Www@QuestionHome@Com