Position:Home>Poetry> A short poem about changing plans? What do you think?
A short poem about changing plans!? What do you think!?
Sliding into something black
Slip my eyes in something blue
Reflect in your iris wide
See myself inside of you
Slide of hand across your face
Feel your bristles on my tips
Rub my palm against your grain
Want your hand upon my hips
Look inside me, say no words
Feel your warmth upon my chest
Put your cupid’s bow upon me
Lets forget about the rest
Copyright DragonLady 2009Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Well at first I could see where you were going but then after "feel your bristles on my tips" it started feeling more like a poem about intimacy, as far as it sounding good!.!.it does, in some areas it feels a lil awkward and some of the rhythm kinda goes askew
maybe a rewrite!?
I did enjoy it though :)
hope i helped
job well done :D
keep penning ;)
ohhhhhhhhhwwww omg duuh!! i totally missed your point lol, nevermind what i said about it moving away from the idea, it works perfectly now that i've realized what you were talking about lol :P (feeling kinda dumb now haha)
its brilliant work
and such an original way of saying that there really isn't a point to making plans :)
great work :DWww@QuestionHome@Com
I thought you 'd never say those words to him again, for men are jerks you know, but you did any way!. Very touching!. It doesn't hurt to lighten up a little from time to time!.
This was a pleasure to read!.
so manny immidiate immages
plus a good rythum
It is moving!. It is Outstanding! Wonderful job!Www@QuestionHome@Com
You have quite outdone yourself with this imho!.
To be able to write this way with a realistic aversion in place, is good!.
very good :) u have a very intresting way of writing and it deft gets you involved in what your trying to get across (which is GREAT) 10/10 :DWww@QuestionHome@Com
sweet but sensuous very well writtenWww@QuestionHome@Com
I liked this!
I hope you cleared out your schedule for this change of plans!
This is so lovely!.!.!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Wow!.!.!.that is so sweet!. I may have to rethink my Valentine's Day aversion and be happy for the others who have found love!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
a touch can bring out a lot of emotionsWww@QuestionHome@Com