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Question: A few original poems that would love to be read!!!! any kind of comments are allowed, good or bad!!?
(Abyss Of Flames)

I'm so sick of trying to connect all the dots
I'm tired of sharing all of my thoughts
I don't care what you think, cause it's not about you
Would you give me a break, it's the least you could do

I've been through some ****, and I just want to explain
But in talking to you, I am no longer sane
I'm releasing my anger and I'm letting it flow
I'm sharing my past, and how I can't let it go

Would you get off my back about each grammatical error
This story is mine, and you're not the bearer
So please just shut up, and have a good listen
There's some valuable lessons that you might be missin'

I'm not one to judge, but you're on top of my chart
As the person I hate most, for despising my art
Why don't you get it, I am just seventeen
I don't care if you like me or if you say I am mean

But I'm not who I was, and I never will be
The kid that you knew, and still think to be me
So stop all your praying, I will never go back
When I started to write, I got of the track

Now I am different and I'm not like the rest
My goal is no longer to be one of the best
Now I'm just trying to get through the day
Without cursing God's name or just walking away

I fell to my knees, and I thought I got up
But I simply fell deeper, but not deep enough
So I continue on down and there's no standing tall
I went to the edge, and I continued to fall

So here I remain and there's no going back
I thought there was hope, but my thoughts are not fact
So much for thinking that I would be saved
The distance I'm falling leads right to my grave

There you will find me, buried down deep
If there was just one memory that I could still keep
It'd be the memory of the year two-thousand and five
Where the hope I once had was still considered alive

Because hope is everything that it comes down to
When all hope is lost, your fear will just grind you

Into an endless abyss of flames!.!.!.

(The Ground)

Whether I get rich or whether I stay poor
Let me say it doesn't matter any more
Whether she says yes, or whether she says no
Tell me friend, where's it all gonna go
Far beneath the ground
Far beneath the ground
The Ground!.!.!.

I'll become the dust from which I was formed
I'll be the sand that blows within the storm
When I've met my end
When I've met my end

Whether I live free, or I'm stuck behind a cage
My life is a play and the world is my stage
Whether I work hard, or I do not work at all
One thing that I know is that I am gonna fall
Far beneath the ground
Far beneath the ground
The Ground!.!.!.

I'll become the dust from which I was formed
I'll be the sand that blows within the storm
When I've met my end
When I've met my end

There will be no sign and there will be no trace
No one will remember the look upon my face
When I dive into the ground
Dive into the ground!.!.!.
The Ground!.!.!.

Bridal Gown (Part 1)

I knelt upon one knee, and asked her the question
In case you didn't understand my implied suggestion
That is the day I learned something I did not know
I left everything I once knew, as I lifted up that stone

I bought her a ring, you should've seen her face
She cried for a moment, then gave me a long embrace
I stood up from the ground and asked if that meant yes
She smiled at me and replied “That's a good guess!.”

We hugged once again and immediately left town
I've never been so happy, nothing could bring me down
We went on living normal lives for another year
Then after long discussions we faced all of our fears

Now here we are about to finally become as one
No our lives aren't over, they've only just begun
I love her with all my heart and I know that she loves me
Although we're both scared, we want to start a family

Within a few hours I'll be, wearing a tux with a rose
I am kinda nervous, but I just can't let it show
I swallow all my fear, and then I step out the door
I love this girl so much, but I want to love her more!.!.!.

I'm standing at the alter as the flower girl skips down
I see the most stunning girl wearing the most beautiful gown
A tear falls from my eye, and I can't help but smile
I've got to be the luckiest man, I've seen for quite awhile

All sound is silent, I hear nothing but her footsteps
After all I've ever been through, I have no regrets
Everything's in slow motion, as she walks upon the floor
I haven't looked away since she stepped through the door

Her hair is so lovely and her eyes are pretty too
I can't believe that soon I'll be standing next to you
Your father let's you go, I must say “He's quite a brave man!.”
He hopes I'll treat you well, and also believes that I can

In sickness or in health I'll always stand by your side
I can't believe that I'm with you, and that you're my bride
I can't explain this feeling it's like a rush I've never had
I can't define this emotion, cause I cry, yet I'm not sad

Now you stand before me as the priest begins to speak
I have never felt sWww@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
When I read your poems, I shut off all the music, close my door, make my sister leave the room and focus!. There aren't words for how beautiful the poems are!. They flow, and they make sense!. To the point, but not abrupt!. The last one, Bridal Gown, was my favorite!. I actually felt a slow smile coming along with every word!. I actually teared a little! I'm not a very serious person, and for that to happen is a very rare occurrence!

I'm only thirteen, and I need to start somewhere!. I really want to continue writing poetry, it's something I'd like to do, and any tips or suggestions at all please share!.

I also have another serious poem, it's the only other open one!. If you have the time, please comment it!. I'll greatly appreciate it!. :] (Not the unwanted roommate, unless you want to!)

Thank You!Www@QuestionHome@Com

your poetry is beautiful!.
and i do mean that sincerely!.
the emotions of it are so deep, my eyes just wanted to keep reading more and more!. and then it ended!. you need to keep writing, you have such talent for it!. it sound like someone or something is holding you back from it, but you should grow from it!. it's truly inspirational man!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

!.!. tennage angst pouring out, but more than that real lonliness!. The middle of bridal gown 1 then lifts the mood!. Very good!. good story telling seems genuine as well!. Like the simple pattern throughtout Should show this to school kids show that its not just school work you have to do!.! you never felt so!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com