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Question: 4 original poems, i appreciate any kind of opinion!. feel free to critisize!?
(What I've Done)

Thoughts are racing, as I fall to the floor
I'm screaming in pain, I can't take it anymore
I grab hold of my head and I yell to the sky
“Is this how it ends, could this be how I die!?”

I crawl to the stairs, but I can't reach the top
I keep falling down, I don't think I can stop
I reach out my hand, hoping God will grab hold
I'm left here alone, stuck in this bitter cold

Tears start to fall like rain from the clouds
I cry out in agony, “Why is this happening now!?”
I try to stand up, but my knees start to shake
I don't know how much more I can take

My life starts to flash, before my own eyes
Is that a sign saying, soon I will die!?
I've got to keep moving, I don't think that I can
How can I move, when I can't even stand!?

I've come so far, from where I used to be
Which might be for nothing, as I'm sure you will see
The sad part about it is, I did this all to myself
I'm dying from the inside out, because of nobody else

I look up at the sky yearning for someone's hand
When people see me, they don't understand
I'm cradled in a ball, alone and so afraid
I'm looking at the clock watching time waste away

I'm killing myself slowly, there's nothing I can do
Except pray to God that my death won't affect you
I'm sorry I let you down!.!.!.

(Dragons and Damsels)

Where are you, and where am I
We're far apart, please tell me why
I won't see you at least not today
But I swear to you, tomorrow's on it's way

I'm coming back, I will return
Not seeing you is my main concern
I miss you, with all my heart
I'm at the end, heading towards the start

I need you now, like I did before
You're everything and so much more
You're beautiful, please don't deny
When I return, lets give us a try

I am sitting here, and I'm alone
I wish I had someone to hold
You are the one, you've gotta be
But the question is,
Are you the one for me!?

I wonder what has got you down
Your heart beats without a sound
Are you afraid, to speak your mind
I think fate has us intertwined

Maybe I'm wrong, I've been before
Can you explain, what lies in store
No you can't, I can always dream
I always hoped we were meant to be

Maybe if our lives were a fairy tale!.!.!.

(No Longer Night)

Running towards daylight, escaping the darkness
Falling through nightmares, that I can't seem to harness
Looking for sunshine or some sign of hope
Lost in my mind and still trying to cope

Smacking my face, into the walls of my mind
Watching my suicide, now wishing i'm blind
Chasing this girl but I'm stuck in the sand
Sinking so fast, now I can't even stand

Reaching for air and grasping for breath
Holding on for dear life, to what I have left
Slowly it's fading, every last light
Then I wake up and it's no longer night

What does this mean!?

(Ocean Of Fate)

My subconscious mind is not asleep
When I dream, to me, it speaks
Subliminal messages dwell deep inside
Thoughts of death by suicide

When I'm awake, I block it out
But when I'm asleep my heart cries out
“Say something please, tell someone now!”
But when I wake up, I don't know how

I'm not my dad, I'm not like him
So I dive under water and start to swim
No matter how far I go, I can't escape
For the water I'm in is the ocean of fate!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
I have 3 words for you: Get Published Now!

I have no criticism for you!. Just a suggestion for writing in the future!.You obviously like to rhyme and by far you are excellent with it!. Every once in a while try different techniques besides rhyming to give different poems different effects!.

You have a gift that's not often given, don't take it for granted!. Your writing is relate-able and keeps you wanting more!.

Have you ever thought of writing a story through a collection of poems!?

As always never doubt to express yourself through words, art, and emotion!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

The poems are downbeat but pretty good, have you ever considered anti depressants!?Www@QuestionHome@Com

i still think your brilliant Chris P - they're amazing - you made some improvements right!? absolutely beautiful and the flow is flawless - keep penning :DWww@QuestionHome@Com

the first one was my favorite, that one was great!. it was dark and full of pain!. the second one was really great also!. you are pretty good!. keep writing, best of luck!. :)

*writing is the best way to let those emotions go, dont stop writingWww@QuestionHome@Com

In my opinion that was very good poetry! but also very dark!. But I dont like much poetry but this was very good!!! It's great!Www@QuestionHome@Com

These are absolutely amazing!. You've got soul!. You've got heart!. Honey keep writing!. I need to read more!. Please if you would add me!. I have some poems of my own and i'd like to know your opinion for I think we've been through similar acts inour lives!. Never give up!.Www@QuestionHome@Com