Did I do a good job on my poem?

Question: Did I do a good job on my poem!?

I use to be young
But no I am old
I use to be weak
But now I am strong
I use to have games
But now I don't
Summer was here but it can't leave a tear
I played and ran but I had turned to a man
We used to play during day but night had came
My friends rode but I had dove
My mood was good when the tree had stood
My fun had begun when school was cool
When summer ended it was a bummer
My grandparents were like my parents!.

I made it up!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

for a starter it's ok!.!.!.

you can rearrange the order or something!.!.!.

so all the lines are about how school was there and it wasn't so much of fun as it was when summer!.!.!.
but when summer ended it wasn't fun!.!. and you loved it at your grandparent's place!.!.!.

but what you should do is add more of the lines to your poem!.!. everything is random!.!.!.
and there's connection between two lines!.!.!.
what you want to say is understood!.!. but it's too abrupt!.!.!. :)Www@QuestionHome@Com

yeah its sounds good!.!.but where it says but no im old u mean know Right i mean i think is great !.everything sound good lolWww@QuestionHome@Com

Needs a lot of work!.!.!. Get your thesaurus and re-draft!.!.!. Sorry!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

sorry,

no!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

after " i turned into a man" it sounds dumb and the poem doesn't have an endingWww@QuestionHome@Com