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Question: How can I improve my poem's structure!?
I'm not familiar to poetry!. Tips, crits, and comments!?

There is no doubting we may experience depression
It’s hard to escape the “truth” of constant oppression
Why must we be blind to the perspective of the other!?
Brother, it’s so unfortunate we can’t accept one another
The wise man’s words soon lose their meaning
Eloquent speeches end up expressing no feeling
And I find even the genius’s renowned dexterity
Only provides trite clarity to my blurred reality
Even my unwilling enemy’s decision for mercy
Refuses to bloom into an awkward intimacy
Cold hearts have me return to familiar apathy
Crawling back, I realize I merely crave their sympathy
Looking around, I try to have my being surround
The overwhelming mass of a faceless crowd
Somehow in this act, I can do all but frown
The fact is that to them I, too, am a nameless clown
Impatiently, waiting for someone to find the “real me”
Yet I’m attached to the comfort of being lonely
Intentionally, I slap away an inviting hand
In confusion, still under the persistent delusion
That when I’m alone is when I am in command
But I’m kneeling, crying, “I want to be myself!”
The fool laughs whilst dying, “I know not who I am”
Choking on tears can be worse than the fear of Hell
What hides under pride is begging, “Help me if you can”
A solemn plea translates into a desperate demand
No one but nothing’s lingering, so willing to keep listening
Carrying it’s not easy, this burden we call existingWww@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Do some counting on the syllabes !.!.!. and try to maintain a consistent rhythm!.



There is no doubting we may experience depression (13)
It’s hard to escape the “truth” of constant oppression (13)
Why must we be blind to the perspective of the other!? (14)
Brother, it’s so unfortunate we can’t accept one another (16)

The wise man’s words soon lose their meaning (9)
Eloquent speeches end up expressing no feeling (13)
And I find even the genius’s renowned dexterity (14)
Only provides trite clarity to my blurred reality (14)

Even my unwilling enemy’s decision for mercy (14)
Refuses to bloom into an awkward intimacy (14)
Cold hearts have me return to familiar apathy (13)
Crawling back, I realize I merely crave their sympathy (14)

Looking around, I try to have my being surround (13)
The overwhelming mass of a faceless crowd (11)
Somehow in this act, I can do all but frown (11)
The fact is that to them I, too, am a nameless clown (13)Www@QuestionHome@Com

Your poem follows the form known as agnatic Shakespeare, to give it more form, you should remove the repressed unstressed lines, and come up with a boiliometric scheme that is aglined to the helios of the poem!. To sum up, simplify yx=a to y=a-x!. Hope that helps!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I think it's really great!.!.!. the structure is fine, I love it!.
It's so meaningful!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

short is better than longer, you poem is a little longer!. cur a few sentence!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

There is no doubting we may experience depression
It’s hard to escape the “truth” of constant oppression
Why must we be blind to the perspective of the other!?



Brother, it’s so unfortunate we can’t accept one another
The wise man’s words soon lose their meaning
Eloquent speeches end up expressing no feeling
And I find even the genius’s renowned dexterity
Only provides trite clarity to my blurred reality
Even my unwilling enemy’s decision for mercy
Refuses to bloom into an awkward intimacy



Cold hearts have me return to familiar apathy
Crawling back, I realize I merely crave their sympathy
Looking around, I try to have my being surround
The overwhelming mass of a faceless crowd



Somehow in this act, I can do all but frown
The fact is that to them I, too, am a nameless clown
Impatiently, waiting for someone to find the “real me”
Yet I’m attached to the comfort of being lonely!.!.!.
Intentionally, I slap away an inviting hand
In confusion, still under the persistent delusion
That when I’m alone is when I am in command
But I’m kneeling, crying, “I want to be myself!”



The fool laughs whilst dying, “I know not who I am”
Choking on tears can be worse than the fear of Hell
What hides under pride is begging, “Help me if you can”
A solemn plea translates into a desperate demand
No one but nothing’s lingering, so willing to keep listening
Carrying it’s not easy, this burden we call existingWww@QuestionHome@Com