Question Home

Position:Home>Poetry> What do u think of my poem?!?!?


Question: What do u think of my poem!?!!?!!?
Global warming!.!.!.

i see a tree
and in a flash its gone
i seems so free
now its been cut off my lawn

i see a flower!.!.!.
and it begins to tilt
its dead within an hour
the pollution caused it to wilt

i see the snow!.!.!.
its fluffy and white
and away it will go due to the warm sun's light

The sky looks so beautifully blue
lets hope global warming wont change that too!.

honest criticism please sorry its not that good im only 13Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
i think its pretty good!.!.

for the snow stanza
how about saying somehting like

I see the snow!.!.!.
its fluffy and white
but the putrid fumes of the city, make it black as night

just because normally the sun will melt the snow global warming or not!.

otherwise its good
i like the rpitition "i see the!.!.!."
the rhyming is simple but conveys the message
and i think that you really show you care about global warming

however!.!.

maybe you could add a bit of emotion
a bit more discriptiveness( i dont think that's a word) such as adding something about how the tree looks and feels!.!.

good job! nice last lines too!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Hi Jasmine,
I like it, especially as you are only 13!. It's a good poem which will help promote the problems caused by pollution and other environment concerns!.
As with anything, your poetry will improve & get even better with practice!.
One small point!.!.!.when writing especially if you one day hope to have poetry published, it's important to note that the word "I" must always be a capital letter, that is!.!.!. "I see the snow" rather than "i see the snow"!.

Why don't you try to get this poem put into your school newsletter or student magazine, if your school has such a thing!.

Best wishes
greg!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

It is very good imho
I see a message in this very clearly conveyed!.
For your age you are showing a maturity of thought!.

You also have put it into a nice format and taken the time to make it sound right!.
Well Done!.

I am not a critic, I am a reader and I like this when I read it!.
Thank you!Www@QuestionHome@Com

thats really good!.

Can you guys help me!? Please answer my question: http://answers!.yahoo!.com/question/index;!.!.!.

Thank youu =D ?Www@QuestionHome@Com