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Question: How can I improve my poem about virtual reality!?
Virtual Reality
by Sydney

In this New Age
of Questions and Answers,
who can tell
what is real
when it is virtual
which is virtually real!?

In this New Age
of Instant Communication,
where words travel
at the speed, not of sound
but of starlight
what is a book!?

In this New Age
of the Internet Miracle,
we show it to you
on paper and on-screen
in all its imperfections
with all its diversity!.

In this New Age
of the Personal ID,
are the faces you see
real, cartoons, or both
do you care or
need to know!?

In this New Age
of Electronic Gardens,
come to our festive table of
poetry we show the world
uniting all Earth’s people
with words of love and hope!.
!.
“Come, take my hand
you are not alone!.”Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
This is a beautiful poetic expression born from deep desire and and passion!. I think this is perfect (but I'm a little biased)!.

I've got an MLA manual around here somewhere!. Maybe I should read it, yes!?Www@QuestionHome@Com

I would not change a word!. You have written a poem asking new questions about the new medium of virtual reality!. Sometimes I have felt intimidated, more often I have felt caring and concern; good critique as well as bad rushing to me at "light speed"!.

I also feel the need for books will never go away!. The feel of paper, the fragrance of ink, the weight of the book itself, all add to the experience of poetry!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Your poem is pretty solid!.!.!. the only suggestion I would have is to play into the "dark side" (for lack of a better cliche) by mention a world of identity theft and other cyber related crimes!. However you did say Virtual reality not cyberspace!. Depending on your attitude about it you could create a stanza criticizing the way society is becoming impersonal with electronic interaction instead of face to face meetings!.!.!.!. besides that I don't what to say except for excellent poem!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

A great poetic summary of what I am doing at the moment: looking at faces I know, but don't know, reading words sent from space, sending words back through space!. I must say, I enjoy having a book in my hands, on my lap, on the kitchen table, one that I can pick it up anytime, and turn to the page!.
I wouldn't want to give this up though!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Personally, I don't think you can improve it--It doesn't need improving!.

I love your presentation, the questions pondered and your conclusion just ROCKS!
'Come, take my hand
you are not alone!.'Www@QuestionHome@Com

S3, L2-- instead of "!.!.!.of the Internet Miracle"
maybe
"!.!.!.of Internet Miracles"

I like my miracles to be many!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

As for me, my toes just touch this new age electric, my roots are
deeply in books and places old!.
Even tho!. your words ring true!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I think you should use more metaphorWww@QuestionHome@Com