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Question: Is my poem good!? If not, what should I do to make it better!?
This is the poem:
The stroke of his fingers against my face feels so good inside!. I pretend to not like it because I know that he’ll do it again if I squirm!. Pathetic, I know!. But his cold fingers were so calming against my tired face!. As I look into his eyes, I see a beautiful man!. So full of life!. I have to look away quickly and joke about how he kept a straight face while doing that!. Oh how I longed for him to do that again! I long for his soft hands to caress my face!. I feel the butterflies being set free every time he does that!. I don’t know why this happens but it does!. I have wings to fly whenever I think about it!
Advice would help! Thanks! :)Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
oh i love poems!! hmm!.!. maybe u could try making your poem 'look' more like one!.!. u could divide up the lines and put them in stanzas!. that would also make a difference as to how u read the poem!.!. for example, u would pause after certain lines etc!. and it'd also sound more sensual and romantic :)
how does this look:
The stroke of his fingers
against my face
feels so good inside!.
I pretend to not like it
because I know
that he’ll do it again
if I squirm!.
Pathetic, I know!.
But his cold fingers
were so calming against my tired face!.
As I look into his eyes,
I see a beautiful man
so full of life!.
I have to look away quickly
and joke about how he kept a straight face while doing that!.
Oh how I longed for him to do that again!
I long for his soft hands to caress my face
I feel the butterflies being set free every time he does that!.
I don’t know why this happens but it does
I have wings to fly whenever I think about it!.!.
______________________________________!.!.!.
hope u like :)
ps: i have not changed any words :)Www@QuestionHome@Com
More like a short story than a poem!.!.!. To me, at least!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com