Question Home

Position:Home>Poetry> I want to be a Writer. What do you think of this poem?


Question: I want to be a Writer!. What do you think of this poem!?
I've been sitting on the porch steps
Watching the seasons change!.
I was thinking of you the whole time,
its left me quite enraged!.
I wanted you to be there,
with me forever
But now I see the answer
is to be never!.
You said that you loved me
As I loved you to!.
But it did'nt happen, as you can see!.
What happened to us!?
I'd ask you forever, it dwells in my mind
but, knowing you,
its better to leave it behind!.
I'll miss you
I want you
I'd kiss you right here!.
Just show me that,
that, you want to be near!.
So I will wait on these porch steps
Waiting for you
Watch the seasons change
and hope you come
as they doWww@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
i love it - it's really good!. But i think the end five lines just need to be rethought a bit - i really like what you are doing where the closure mirrors the beginning with the seasons but the bit where you go:
waiting for you
watch the seasons change
it sounds a bit like your waiting for him to start watching the seasons!. So just rethink them but keep the idea the same - its really good!. =DWww@QuestionHome@Com

It needs a lot of work, but I'm not saying that you don't have promise!. Read as much poetry as you can and try to learn from it!. When your English teacher criticizes your homework, take note of everything he/she says!. There isn't a lot of money in writing poetry, but it is an enjoyable pass time!. You will get better as you grow older!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

You have promise!. You have determination!. You have a pen!. Keep up the good work of tying your emotions into poetry!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I think that your poem is really good and I am sure you will become a good Writer!!!!!!!Www@QuestionHome@Com

Not bad, but to make it even better learn the language of words!. Read some Mark Twain, the best wordsmith I've ever read!.Www@QuestionHome@Com