Wat do u think? i need help with this thanks!?

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Question:

k so i made what i think would be good as a song!. but I'm starting to think it might be good as a poem!.!.!.so can some one help me!?
This is it!.

The Breeze!.
He walks in the dead of night
He floats above the city so nobody can escape his sight!.
No one dares to see what he sees
There is something evil in the breeze!.
(long pause)
Now no one walks in the dead of night
and no one floats above the city!.
Many have escaped his sight in the silent night!.

But there is something that is true and if your not careful it'll get you too!.
There really is something evil in the breeze!.
It is unexplained by people like you!.

So look out in the night!.
For it may have you in it's sight!.
If your not careful it'll get you too,

(softly)
boo!.

And i will take any comments as long as they are honest and nice!.
Thanks so much!!!Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

I don't know, this poem or song sounds good to me!. It would go great either as a song or a poem!. Keep working on it!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I hear song, I would rearange those words like a hundred times if that was mine but that is just me, and I would not let any one tell me
what it was poem, song nah nah its all wrong!. It would not matter at all what any one thinks, and I would make it what I wanted it to be!.!.!.!.!.

But thats just meWww@QuestionHome@Com

I don't like the rhyme scheme, it;s too common >!.<

And you should change the title!.!. I was like, "Is this wind or a ghost!?"

also, it's a straight forward poem, I would suggest adding figurative speech, because some of the words are a bit dull!.!. but then it needs to keep its own rhythm!.

It's a nice poem, but I can't really correct it for you, because poetry has no structure!.!.!.And I can't control your mind!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

"If you are not careful it'll get you too"Www@QuestionHome@Com