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Question: Check out this crazy poem!?
my room is now a digable planet!.
a black square space shot thru with silver!.'
a spectacle only absinthe can deliver!.
that heliotropic star i see can't be real !.
or can it!?
amid the circumvolution of my place,
i see an unfamiliar face!.
a woman with jade sanpaku eyes!.
as i float upward, i reach 4 her!.
then she dissapates into the skies!.
yep, my room's now a digable planet!.
the corners stretch out 2 infinity!.
quasars burst out in blue, green & yellow!.
now i see 3 men balance on saturn's rings!.
their presence makes me feel oddily mellow!.
it's a rainbow holy trinity!
im trapped in a hypnogogic fever dream!.
my room is a digable planet!.
this cant be real or can it!?Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
how old are you!? cause u sure kno a lot of complicated words
anyways i like how you described everything with lots of details

EDIT: Check out my poem and tell me what you think
http://answers!.yahoo!.com/question/index;!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

It seems like you're trying too hard by using words that dont flow well!. Given the context, It's acceptable, but throws off the reader's perception because of what we typically expect from poetry!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I like it; its very creative :) I would proofread it and explain some of the vocabulary, though!.!.!.maybe use less complex wordsWww@QuestionHome@Com

I think I have to be somewhere!. That somewhere is where I can't hear or see you!. Maybe australia!.

Hope I helped!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

wow

random and weird

a whole new point of view/good jobWww@QuestionHome@Com

cool!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

coolWww@QuestionHome@Com

is this a question cuz i don't get itWww@QuestionHome@Com