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Question: What can i do to my make my sonnet better!?
I wrote this sonnet for my literature class!.
It is about training for football and getting ready for the season!.
The rhyme scheme is Shakespearean and we dont need to use iambic pentameter!.
Please tell me what i can do to make it better!.
I would like suggestions on difficult vocab that i can use to enhance it and ways to put assonance in!.
I am in 11th grade!.


Fighting for the strength to get to the top!.
The Journey is hard, but I persevere!.
I feel the pain; but i know I wont stop!.
I can't stop!. because I'm not happy here!.

My will to go on, needs to be strong!.
The others wont stop; and neither will I!
I look ahead and the tunnel is long!.
I can't stop; because my spirit wont die!

Each day brings pain, with the feeling of good!.
The cold touch of iron brings sweat to my head!.
The sweat in the walls brings peace to my mood!.
I could have fun!. but choose pain instead!.

Today, I will find the courage within!.
It was worth it, because today; I'll win!

I am not sure if i can use ; in all the spots i did!. any advice on those is appreciated!.

FYI: I'm not asking for you to do my homework just some advice to get it over the top!. Please no flamingWww@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
I made it more desperate and allegorical!. Use yours if you like yours better!. I changed your meaning!.


Fighting for the strength to reach the top!.
A passage I find hard, I persevere!.
I feel the pain, yet know I will not stop!.
I cannot!. I must not!. Yet I'm not happy here!.
I listen to my will!. I must be strong!.
Others persist as well, and so must I!.
To look behind or stop this straining would be wrong!.
My spirit will not let me stop, though I die!.
Each day brings pain, but pain is good!.
The touch of iron, the sweat, the aching head,
All is nourishment--a kind of food,
To keep me living here among the dead!.
The struggle is inside me, and I must win!.
Give me courage!. Help me grow within!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

burn itWww@QuestionHome@Com