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Question: What do you think of this as a Poem!?
Teeth on cold hard bitter steel
looking up in complete fear
this bleeding makes it so real
as it seems my end is near

but it's all simulated
in his heads theater
it's entirely isolated
he is my only creator

i'm sorry you have to see me this way,
but for me i have no other choice
you see it is not my place to say
for i have a microphone but no voice

these words put me on display
in front of you for enjoyment
pulled out of his minds array
like a man set for deployment

i am only a shadow, a formation
from the mind of my sole sire
in his dark, sick fascination
i bend to whims, in his desire

in his brain i have been drown
i go through emotional pain
i have been lifted, and let down
just like the others, the same

like a grain of sand in a storm
flying weightless across a city
like paper i can be split, torn
not many of us now, such a pity

he's upset now, writers block
so each thought is forsaken
he stalls, brain is under lock
no new ideas have been taken

Everything is starting to slow
as each cell is in degeneration
thought process is running low
a short asphyxiating deprivation

as everything shows pitch black,
the master sharply falls down
he is swiftly taken aback
as he lies on the ground

heart beats dramatically decrease
the old thoughts once integrated
as artists quick beat does cease
they're now being horridly incinerated
the poet now gets his resting peace
no persistent rhymes being generated
his old thoughts, will now decease
they are moving, being renovated
for he has obtained a new lease
thoughts run wild, old ones eliminated!.Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
If you truly wrote this then you are certainly gifted, and should possible try exploring *warmer* tones!.
Like all true poetry you have enabled an enigma, so it is difficult for me to decipher all that you are saying!. Though I hope you are comfortable and that you are not another case/victim of child molestation (or worse)!. Literally speaking I suggest removing one stanza, and that is the one that begins "He's upset now, writers block"; though I do appreciate the line "brain under lock"!.

Cheers to you and your old thoughts being renewed!.Www@QuestionHome@Com