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Position:Home>Poetry> Is this poem of your liking?Question: Is this poem of your liking!? "The Pen"
The pen writing gracefully the voices of the imagination!. Carefully laying down the thoughts of your inner most being!. Beautifully describing the soul,letting it breathe through the pen!. Giving it freedom to let go and express itself before going back to hiding from the world, afraid of mockery!. But with the pen the soul is fearless and brave with the truth as the pen translates the language of the soul into poetry!.Www@QuestionHome@Com Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: It's okay!. One thing that would make it better, much more poetic anyway, is to describe more than tell!. You use a lot of adjectives and adverbs- instead of "Giving it freedom to let go and express itself before going back to hiding from the world, afraid of mockery" try something like "the ink, flowing with its black rivers, bathing a quaking soul in fleeting bravery, allowing a freedom of truths to glide across the surface"!. Anything that helps to paint a picture more than inform is usually more effective in a poem!. I do really like the imagery of the soul breathing through the pen- very nice!. Www@QuestionHome@Com yay! Love it! Check out mine: http://answers!.yahoo!.com/question/index;!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com It is to my liking!. simplicity of thoughtsWww@QuestionHome@Com Yes it is so nice!.Www@QuestionHome@Com Yes, I like very much! nfd?Www@QuestionHome@Com |