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Question: Rate my poem please 1-10!?

i think im finished, though ill probably add more

"You once made me whole But now I am in pieces"

You touched my heart
you took my breath
you were the thing that made me tick

You kept me stand’n, here on the ground
You were the thing that kept me around

So there we go, there and then
In that world that seemed pretend
I can’t explain
The way you made me feel
the feeling was so unreal
!.
!.
!.
But…
You broke my heart
you made me bleed
you were the thing I didn’t need

You were the chains, which kept me bound
you were the thing that weighed me down

So here we are, here and now
In this world that seems so fowl
I can’t explain
The way it is today
The sky is turning grey
!.
!.
!.
But…
You touched my heart
You took my breath

Now your no different then the restWww@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
the only thing i would change would be to stop calling the person the poem is directed toward "the thing"

i think you can put some very powerful words insted of thingWww@QuestionHome@Com

omg I LOVE IT
I tottally get where you're comming from --which may be a part of it--
But honestly!.
It tottally captured me and made me feel what you feel and feel sad -- yet enjoy the genuis of the poem!.


what do you thinnk of mine!?
http://answers!.yahoo!.com/question/index!?!.!.!.
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i say this is a 9 out of 10!. you are a very good poetry writer this is very good!. it makes sense!.sound catchy!.and you can definetly tell the mood,sad/heart broken very nice job!!! =DWww@QuestionHome@Com

OMG AWESUMMMM !Www@QuestionHome@Com

<3!. Www@QuestionHome@Com

7, Well done, quite honest poemWww@QuestionHome@Com

omg i loved it sooooooo much, if i could go higher then 10 i would i would giver u a perfect 100 i loved it soooooo much!Www@QuestionHome@Com