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Position:Home>Poetry> A poem I share......? ?Question: A poem I share!.!.!.!.!.!.!? !? A tear fell from my face
Making myself a disgrace Not wanting for it to be seen, My weakness from within My eyes are covered with black Hiding the gloom at the back Blurring my visions, Only seeing illusions Nothing in this world is real, As well as what I feel So tired of shedding these tears Along with my heartaches & fears Black tears All the pain & sorrow From yesterday ‘til tomorrow Hoping it would all be over Even though it seems forever Www@QuestionHome@Com Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: I like that you are using poetry to express your feelings!.!.!.and it is okay to write dark poetry, or intense poetry!.!.I do think the poem would move better if it did not rhyme I think it would move deeper if it was more along the lines of free verse poetry!. I like the "black tears" it is fresh and new, and not cliche!. For intense confessional poetry I would recommend reading sylvia Plath!.!.!.she uses great imagery and metaphors!. It may help you when writing these types of poems!. Look up "Daddy" or "Lady Lazarus" Good Job Keep on going!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com lovely share mine too OUT OF MY WINDOW There as I look out of my broad window, A few strugglers passing by I know, Early morning each day I see perchance, Seeing my face they at me, do glance!. As they see me stare at them, one says, Hi Vision we love your poetry, Another waves hey guy you are style, Then one says, Vision, are you blind, Writing poetry you seem to be out of your mind!. Yet one more ever so kind had to send this to me, ‘Roses are red, violets are blue, This poem I wrote, only for you!.’ Duffer Vision they must have thought, That’s the first poem my aunt had taught, When I was still almost in the nude, As she was a poetry teacher, oh dude!. Yet what depth of message she had sent, Guy vision do you know what she meant!? Sarcastically that you cannot write poetry, Try your hand at something else, may be history!. Some say my poems are more akin to prose, This is what my friend had to say, Miss Rose, It’s pure, it’s pure, Vision be aware of your sensitivity, Some day you are sure to establish, your creativity!. Copyright ?VISION Www@QuestionHome@Com I like the poem, i think you're depressed!. What do you think of my poem: http://answers!.yahoo!.com/question/index;!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com cookie cutter PROSE!.Www@QuestionHome@Com That's really goood, great job! You should go in a contest:)Www@QuestionHome@Com |