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Question: Would someone please read my poem, and give me feedback!?
Poem entitled: Loneliness Hurts!.!.!.

Loneliness hurts my poor aching heart!.
I'm always gluing myself together just to fall apart!?
Why are these tears always glued to my face!?
Why can't anyone dare take your place!?
Why do I miss you like all the time!?
Why do I feel the need to continue this rhyme!?
I guess there so much to say!.
Tell me is he thinking of me today!?

Does he care at all!?
Would he really pick me up when I fall!?
Does he care about me like he says!?
I guess only God knows and in so many ways!.

Why do I try to get his attention!?
His head never turns!.
My passion for him continues to burn!.!.!. like a fire raging inside of me!.


Does he care at all!?
Would he really pick me up when I fall!?
Does he care about me like he says!?
I guess only God knows and in so many ways!.

Somebody shake me!.
If I'm dreaming then wake me, although it'll break me!.
He's looking my way but he's walking away!.
Why does love have to be this way!?

Does he care at all!?
Would he really pick me up when I fall!?
Does he care about me like he says!?
I guess only God knows and in so many ways!.



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Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
I think that your poem is great, amazing, absolutely fantastic!. but Change the 2nd glued to stuck,Www@QuestionHome@Com

Good!. I would put something in between all the "whys" in the beginning!. I wrote a poem like that once!. You should consider making it into a song!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I agree with changing glued to stuck!. I think this poem is very thoughtful, and I like it!.

I'll mark your question as interesting if you answer mine!

http://au!.answers!.yahoo!.com/question/ind!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com