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Question: It doesn't flow very well but i did my best to put some rhythm without losing the poem's meaning!.!?
Your gaze did not rest on me
And so our future shall not be
Now I ask you one last thing
Stop these games, this painful sting
Do not look at me again
For when our eyes meet in fain
Hope rises from the ash
Becomes more than a flash
Do not speak to me again
For every time, I go insane
When I hear the pleasing song
That hope sings for so long
Do not touch me again
For I cannot retain
A cunning hope, a fiend so smart
Find its way inside my heart
Never kiss me again
For this act you don’t explain
Finds the key and shows the door
Hope becomes love once moreWww@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
I think if you're deciding between poem's meaning and rhyme the meaning is much more important, and also the flow of the poem is more important than the rhyme,
rhyme is like an added bonus it can be poetry without it, So I would say at some parts where you felt you had to use this word because it was the only one that rhymed go back and switch it with what you wanted there and it might look more natural Www@QuestionHome@Com
I really liked it!. Its yours!. I means something to you!. Thats all that matters!. I dont see how other people can judge this poem!. Only you know if it says what you wanted it to say!. Again i enjoyed it!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
if it expresses what you feel inside then it's perfect love is in the eyes of the beerholder keep writing it beats shooting people from towers to let u know u hurt inside!.!. gl broWww@QuestionHome@Com
Work on it a bit more, you can make it better!.!. Its not bad, but can be better!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Its a little cheesy you could do better!. Www@QuestionHome@Com
yupWww@QuestionHome@Com
lameWww@QuestionHome@Com
it's okWww@QuestionHome@Com
runin on alil bit but hey not hatin my work does the same thing good poemWww@QuestionHome@Com