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Question: Is this good poem about society!?
I tried a poem on society before and it was not so good!. I am good at writing about darker thymes or nature!. You can look at my previous poems if you are bored!. Could you give me advice on how to improve it or should I just stick at what I am good at!? It is nice to try new styles!. The same formula is boring!. Even if it is good!.

Summers Gone

For its blurry like a dream when your eyes are half closed,
The studious stay in their room and learn of a different world,
There is but a stumble as I a waken from the dark,
Left is a light but shall it be quenched with dust of lost jobs,
I cease to cry as I watch the bitter news,
Sitting on my bed listening to music and reading of people I never knew,
And as the sky hardens-
And the days become short,
You have to wake early to go for a walk,
Some wear aubergine colours in autumn time,
Or rustic brown and dark raven black,
Not bright summer shades of shine,
Left is a banquet, which has ended many days,
Where is the extravaganza!?
No one sits for the food made,
The pubs remain quite and the sales carry on,
As I walk through the fields,
My earphones plays a theme song,
But now the landscape different,
And old songs all sound the same,
Try to ignite an aura,
But that aura is cold caged,
Left in the 90s
With our riches with our gold,
Waiting for the summer but our last summer was but cold!.

By CrazygirlWww@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
You might think of shortening or dividing the lines and removing some of the words that add no power to the poem!. Begin by removing the word 'and' and see what happens!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

In my opinion that was very good!. I liked this line:

I cease to cry as I watch the bitter news,
Sitting on my bed listening to music and reading of people I never knew,

You are good at poetry keep writing x
Www@QuestionHome@Com

Hi Crazed One!.

We've been studying the Basics of English Studies textbook's Poetry Section for a couple of weeks now!. You can see some of those answers in my recent questions!.

One of the things I've discovered is how important it is for a poem to look like poetry!. I don't mean that it should all be four line stanzas of equal line lengths, I mean that, at first glance, the body of the work should say to the reader, "Warning! I am a poem!."

Your piece hit me the other way, "Warning! I'm Prose!"

The writing is not bad!. In my opinion, it needs to be more polished!.

That said, so does mine!.

TDWww@QuestionHome@Com