What do you think of "Harvest Mourning"?

Question: What do you think of "Harvest Mourning"!?

A post I have re-worked

The leaves a vibrant yellow
That fall is laying down
A richly colored carpet
Upon the Autumn ground

And winter so determined
Despite the crimson red
To wash away the colors
Upon which Autumn fed

Soon the unclothed limbs will claw
With outstretched arms to sky
Disgraced to find their fingers
Dipped in this winter's sigh

No blanket red and golden
Can warm what lies ahead
When Winter breath is icy
And harvest moon is deadWww@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

Well done!. Your use of 7,6 syllables works very nicely, and the word winter is only used thrice, not to be considered overdone!. You have carried us through from the changing colors, to the drab grey of winter, and done it in rhyme and meter very well!. Have a hug and a star!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

This is quite darkly beautiful, gorgeous and vibrant!. It is almost as though the Autumn is killed, the Harvest Moon is murdered by the unstoppable Winter in a bittersweet tragedy!. The flow if this piece is perfect!. Wonderful!. Thank you!. Www@QuestionHome@Com

This is very good!. You are getting the feel of the 'drumbeat,' the heartbeat of poetry!. Read all your poems aloud and you'll create the songs, as you are doing here!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I think 'so' is where S2L1 hangs up!. Maybe 'is' is better!?

This flows nicely, building speed as it goes!.

Very good!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Sin, I don't recall seeing the first one, but i will say that the way you created a somber tone in this was amazing!.!.!.!.very sublte, yet very strong!. A great write!.

maWww@QuestionHome@Com

You have caught the Autumnal mood beautifully!. The language and pacing is perfect!. A melancholic melody!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

excellent!.!.!.!.!.depressing but excellent!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I'm there, I'm there!.

Very nice!.Www@QuestionHome@Com