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Question: I have written a poem and need some feedback on it's emotional tone, if any!?
If only for a day
we could send flowers sailing
along our chosen course
under placid sea of sky!.
Go with me
we will glide over white sand
and ride the wing of a sparrow
the world is up to us
we can become the dragonfly
and the hummingbird's breath!.
We are sacred
as we coast these magnificent rivers
and vast prairie islands
we reach the cultured oaks
as fingers of light
split their orange leaf
and it's okay to die here
before we live again!.

Tunk H!.
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Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Tunk H!., this is truly one of the most beautiful depictions of love I have ever lain eyes upon!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

don't take this the wrong way!. it sounds dreamy, but the techniques you used (if any) aren't great;
there is no rhyme, half rhyme, repetition or rhythm (may be intentional)
there's no dimeter, or pentameter or anything!.

it seems as if the first four lines are just a sentence, and you have put no thought into where the line breaks go!.

uneven syllables everywhere!. i 'm honestly not saying this to have a go, but i mean i LOVE poetry; and this just doesn't seem complex or deep enough to be poetry!. I doubt anyone could write an essay deconstructing your techniques and methods in this poem!. Because their just aren't any!.

just my opinion, but poetry is hard (i myself am rubbish) but only a few people are good at it!. this is a good attempt though!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

that's really pretty =]

it's got a dreamy in-love like tone, and maybe a bit sad/nostalgic at the end where it says it's ok to die here (or it's talking about how you help each other deal with the world!?) =] Www@QuestionHome@Com

It has a dreamy tone, like living in a man-made heaven: utopia!.

Feels way to good to be true!.!.!. Feels out of the world!. Flying high up in Cloud 9!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Soulmates in life, in flight, in death!.!.!.!.extremely beautiful images!.
Yeah, I'd say you nailed the emotional tone!

maWww@QuestionHome@Com

Interesting in word usage and image hopping!. Almost like kindred spirits meant to always be and even in death reborn is how I read this!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Its amazing! Emotional and touching! This should be in a book somewhere! You have a great talent for peom writing!Www@QuestionHome@Com

My immediate reaction is a gratitude for seeing nature through your pen!
Line 8 is wonderful!. Well done!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

loves it! Way to go!. The tone is perfect for the content!. Keep writing!Www@QuestionHome@Com

nawwwwwwwww who do you love!? that is a beutiful poem!.Www@QuestionHome@Com