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Position:Home>Poetry> Will you comment on a few lines?Question: Will you comment on a few lines!? I'm weary May I rest at last Upon this bed Which I have cast One moment Eyes close, peaceful sleep To dream of Goals I've yet to keep It's just my Heart that needs a rest I promise Grant this one request Tomorrow See through brand new eyes From dreams spent Here where slumber liesWww@QuestionHome@Com Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: Dreams so solemn, dreams in sorrow praying for a lost tomorrow!. Close your eyes, I guard your sleep and find those goals you've yet to keep!. Within my heart I hold them all, so heal your heart and when you wake they'll be here still!.Www@QuestionHome@Com Yes, I like it!. It reflects how I feel right now which is waaaaaaay past my bed time!.!.!.!.!.so frustrating !!! I think I have insomnia :( !.!.!.!.!.or maybe im just a drama queen & have too much caffeine !!! omgoshhh!.!.!.!.wasn't even trying 2 rhyme :p don't u love it when that happens !? lolWww@QuestionHome@Com Hey thats nice!.!.!. You should read ebooks on how to write great poems, that will make you best! best of luck How bout checkin out mine!? 1> http://answers!.yahoo!.com/question/index;!.!.!. Thanks have a nice day al yoz ~fiazioWww@QuestionHome@Com Although the line breaks made it a tad difficult to pick up the initial meter, it is a well written tetrameter poem, the meter and rhyme as perfect as can be as far as I can tell!. Www@QuestionHome@Com I was weary I rested too I did not sleep much how bout you!? my goals are lofty my will is soft things just seem to pique me off!. of this I'm sure I loved your rhyme You should right them all the time!.!.!. Good job!.!.!.!Www@QuestionHome@Com I think it's very beautiful!.!.!.!.!. there was only one point that I thought it sounded 'overused', 'been said before', etc!.!.!.!. which is: To dream of goals I've yet to keepWww@QuestionHome@Com This weariness of which you speak so eloquently for us to read I wonder, is that promise made one made in good faith!? I dare say, I could not!.!.!.but your words nailed such weariness!. maWww@QuestionHome@Com Absolutely Loved it Sin!.!.!.Made me think of myself priority wise!.!.!.Great stuff!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com This calms me!. And that works!.Www@QuestionHome@Com I enjoyed this!. Nice flow and words to ponder!. Compliments to you!.Www@QuestionHome@Com |