Position:Home>Poetry> Two more poems that i have written... what do you think? ?
Question: Two more poems that i have written!.!.!. what do you think!? !?
I have been writing poems again recently, there are already two posted on here!. Review those ones as well if you can please!.
What do you think of these two:
Fading
I was only seven when you started to go
all I felt for years was sadness and anger
it stretched out in front of us
no end in sight but one!.
Every day you faded a little more
every day I faded from you a little more
I was scared of what I’d see
so I never came to look
I was scared of what I’d hear
so I never came and listened
I was scared of what I would feel
so I never came to near
Slowly you left me standing here
life began to pass me by
Things changed for the worse around me
and still I stood only crying for you!.
Proud
I lie here and think
would you have been proud
is this enough for you
are you proud or simply happy!?
Everyone says you would be pleased
that you would take me in once again in your arms
and tell me that I did well
but how can I every truly know
I work so hard day after day
I always thought I did in for me
now I realise it if for everyone and for you
I never had the chances that others had to make you proud
now I try, not knowing if what I do is enough!.
Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Beautiful!.!.!.send them to a publisher or a magazine!.!.!.i loved both poems !.!.there was so much insight !.!.emotional!.!.!.i felt like the character!.!.!.loved both poems!.!.
Www@QuestionHome@Com
Very deep loneliness, but more than generous giving from your heart!. The best may be yet to come!. Sometimes the best poems and songs come from the deepest places in our hearts, and somehow, a beam of light will make it all easy to understand!. Good poems, keep writing!. Www@QuestionHome@Com
First, nice imagery, I feel as though I am the person who wrote the poems!. But, and this seems to be the most common problem on Y!A, spelling and grammer needs cleaning up!. Overall nice prose!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
I like them both, Im guessing some mother or father figure died!. Least thats the impression I get!.
I think Fading is the more powerful of the 2!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
those poems and BRILLIANT you could publish them and you are FABULOUS at writing poemsWww@QuestionHome@Com
It sounds as if one of your parents have left the other one to look after you and you've never seen them!.!.!. You are a great writerWww@QuestionHome@Com
They are very good Sam and for that you get two credits!. I will write and tell your mum what a clever girl you are!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Very good indeed, I feel your loss reading them, I am sure that special person is very proud of your heartfelt poetry :)Www@QuestionHome@Com
you should just carry on writing and not worry what anybody else thinksWww@QuestionHome@Com
These are the most amazing poems I have ever read I absolutely love them! =)Www@QuestionHome@Com