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Question: Can someone critique the poem I wrote today!?
Inverse on Reality
by: Chris Albert

So lonely I am without you here,
Your eyes, your laugh, your smile,
The way you shrug off the world,
As if tons of human waste can,
Simply be forgotten in an instant,
And with you, its true,

With you I can lift my heavy heart,
From depths never reached before,
For you fill me up higher than,
The clouds that define my highest dreams,
And past the farthest reaches of my world,
Because with you, its true,

With you my social chains break down,
So brittle in their rustic glory,
You so easily erase the scars of,
The many words that cut so deep,
That its so easy to forget they're false,
But with you, its true,

With you my feeble eyes can see,
Past the lies of a self-obsessed,
And self-enslaved people who say,
All they know without truly knowing,
For no one can see past their nose,
You see, with you, its true,

With you I reach my fullest potential,
And my every wish and dream is realized,
Though you're as insubstantial as the freedom,
Of the world to love all it holds,
Until you finally reach out to us,
With me, you'll always have a home!.



(just a few comments, this is supposed to be read out loud as prose, but i didn't want to make it just one big sentence so i broke it down as best i could!. can't wait to hear your responses)Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
This is one of the best poems I have ever read!.The reason i think it was great is because you wrote this from your heart!.You should become a writer and try to get this published!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Superb poem! You really know how to convey what a good friend can do for a person!. Www@QuestionHome@Com

Damn, that is really good!. U have a true talent!!! 10 out of 10!!Www@QuestionHome@Com

OMG this is realllyy sweet! i love your poem!Www@QuestionHome@Com

awwww
so good !Www@QuestionHome@Com

love itWww@QuestionHome@Com

omg! that is AWESOME! i dont think there is ANYTHING wrong with it!. stay with poetry, cuz u r REALLY good at it!!!!Www@QuestionHome@Com