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Question: WHAT DO YOU THINK OF MY POEM!.!.!.!.!.!?
overbearing to the human ear
the steady tread forces fear
upon the innocent sent to see
the world from the eyes of thee
those who suffer; tear
those who attempt to lear
pain must be apparent; felt
only then can joy be dealt
before nonexistent
like a blank page; translucent
windows of the young
book of old tongue
no matter the age
no matter the dominant stage
love, hate, war, and peace
dont discriminate; never decease
martin luther and his dream
to disipate; beams
in truth, hate is never forgotten
left alone for distraction
not a favour or a deed
mere occurance; should be common indeed
the slow, steady rythm portrayed
an image unmatched conveyed
analise, interpret, imagine
the time lost; not forgotten
apologise; heart continues to bleed
on the narrow string; at a time just one bead
the clock ticks to the beat of the heart
the steady counts, one two, three; apart
improvement; inevitable
past; sustainable
and im only 14 so ya!.!.!.
thanx! :)Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Well to start age does not matter writing is writing!.
Second, you spelt apoligize wrong so you would need to edit that!.
I really do not understand what the poem is trying to say!. And I mean, Im into mysterious poetry that makes you think but I cant tell what the topic is!. I sort of think it's about the bible, or perhaps elves!. Or a peace treaty!. I am very very confused!.
You do have a knack for rhyme!. And I really dont think you tried to hard to make it rhyme, it just seems like it just worked!. The only problem is, I have no idea what you are talking about!. Maybe a title that tells me what I am supposed to be reading!. Unless, of course, it is supposed to be interpreted however you want!. Which is still confusing!.
Its a good start though!. The ability is definately there it's a matter of actually saying something!.
If you ever want more critique or would like to talk more about this poem feel free to email me!. lobsterhickman@yahoo!.com
((I am a tough critic, so dont think Im trying to be mean!. I'm just very honest!.))Www@QuestionHome@Com
i am a poet myself and im also 14!!!! i would have to say that i did not "like" your poem!. I say this meaning i did not see a message you wished to convey and I did not see fluidity which is vital in poetry to prevent a confused reader!. Keep working i like the words and the depth but other than that i think you are well on your way to becoming a good poet!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
you are really good! i am jealous!. http://answers!.yahoo!.com/question/index;!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
It's awesome! No words to describe it!. Okay, maybe a few like inspiring, descriptive!.!.!.but great job!!!Www@QuestionHome@Com
a little emo-ish but awesome, i liked itWww@QuestionHome@Com