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Question: Please give comments on my poem!?
O YOU
who has all qualities of a girl
A girl whose life is sinless
O GOD
Keep away all sorrows from her
and bring all happiness only for her
Give relief and calm to her mind
and give all which yet she could not find
Make her life free from worries
the life without tension pain and miseries
He who come in her life
pour the ocean of live in her life
O GOD
Keep her away from all disease
so that the joy of life could not be decease
O GOD
If not good remember me as mad boy
because this is my last words
GOOD BYE GOOD BYE GOOD BYEWww@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Honestly, you need to reread it and correct the misused words!. Decease should be deceased, come should be comes, it must make sense!.
Give to her all that she could not find sounds much better, that which you have right now is a little awkward!. If it's not good to remember me as mad boy or something akin to this would make better sense!. This is should be these are my last words!.!.!.!.I have been writing for 25 years and I pick up on many things!. It needs work but it has potential!. Work on it!. Learn grammar and the correct use of words!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
fantastic, superb and make it more emotionally
Www@QuestionHome@Com
WOW THATS AWESOME
good job!. whoever the girl is, is pretty dayem lucky to have a guy like you to write that goodWww@QuestionHome@Com