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Question: What do you think of my simple poem!? - Advice and oppions welcomed!!?
Standing there
Without a sound
Gently swaying
Collapsed to the ground
Struggling to live
Can’t take a breath
Lying on the ground
Ending with death
Tears streamed
Grief was around
The words unspoken
Sadness was the sound
Hey everyone, i'm 15 and i wrote this!.!. yet again, it is fake!.!.!. uh!.!. It is meant to be about a mother loosing her baby, as it dies with little warning!.
hope you like it!.
yes comments are very welcome!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Another good write!.
I like the flow of your poetry,
most most I've read-have to do with loss and grief!.
I hope you keep up with the good writes!. :)Www@QuestionHome@Com
That's a terribly sad subject matter you've chosen to write about!. Well, it's not obvious what you are writing about!. If you want to write cohesive poetry you must learn to write with what I call meat to the bones!. This means let the people know what you are writing about!. I've been writing for 25 years and I've learned a few things!. I think this will make you a better writer!. I also think you should read other published poet's poetry to see how it's done!. For 15 you're young and learning!. I bid you good luck!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
It requires far more complexity and depth in order to do such a serious subject justice!. A little too trivial in its execution for the topic it attempts to address!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
it is a good poem n that to being a 15 u have written such a good poem
to be honest , i like itWww@QuestionHome@Com
It's alright!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Good Poem at 15
Keep writing some thing that's Positive tooWww@QuestionHome@Com