Position:Home>Poetry> Please comment on my poem and tell me on which site can i post my poems?
Question: Please comment on my poem and tell me on which site can i post my poems!?
HOW IT FEELS TO BE ME
Faced with problems, he could not face the world
Fell from hell, he could not fall any further
Nothing can make him smile than the darkness
Nothing can make him better than the loneliness
He feels he's about to explode
Days by days he's more lost
His tears doesn't mean he is crying
They mean he is regretting, of being here
A place he doesn't belong to
And that's just how i feel
That's how it feels to be me
That's how it feels to be damned
To live in a world of nothingness
To feel so loveless
I need someone, someone to cure me
I need someone, someone who needs me
I need someone to lift up the dark curtain
So that my life shines again
And relieve me from my pain
I need someone!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
I think it's good =]
Try writerscafe!.org!! It's really great and people review your writing which is really helpful!. If you make an account, add me and I'll review your writing =D this is me:
http://www!.writerscafe!.org/writers/oxnev!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
honest!?
it's not very good!.
you have some subject-verb disagreement and i think it's weird how half of the poem is in third person and then the other half is in 1st!.
"nothing can make him smile than the darkness" makes no sense!.
it's decent for a beginning poet, but you need to work on grammar and punctuation and as you get better, read more, increase your vocabulary, etc!. keep writing, you have potentialWww@QuestionHome@Com
Well, some of the phrases in your poem are grammatically incorrect:
Line 3 - 'than' does not make sense there!.
Line 6 - Day by day, not 'days by days'
Line 7- "His tears don't mean he is crying'!. Not 'doesn't'!.
Line 8 - ' of being here' does not make sense!.
You can post poems at thestarlitecafe!.comWww@QuestionHome@Com
that's a really good poem!. i don't know of any sites where you can post them but if you have a bebo, myspace, facebook or anything like that you can put them in the blog on your siteWww@QuestionHome@Com
Megan is ridiculous!. Your poem is awesome!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
It's good, but swearing is something you try to avoid when writing!.
these are 2 free sites, unless you start buying stuff from them!Www@QuestionHome@Com
Firstly,
It's well written!.!. but um!.!. are you feeling depressed!?
It sort of sounds emo-ish!.
perhaps you should contact a counselor!?Www@QuestionHome@Com
I like it =]
www!.teenink!.com
Www@QuestionHome@Com
that's the saddest thing I have ever red!.Very well done but wow do you need help!.You cannot expect some one else to give you a reason to be happy/you cannot find your self in some one Else's eyes!.You must find your own self worth and from there others will come to help fill in the gaps of your life!.If you do not like your self then how can another find you worthy to like!? You have a talent that shows in your writing so why not join some writing classes and see if being around people with the same talent doesn't help you find your self!.We all have worth and we all have a right to be happy!.You need to find your worth and build on that!.Www@QuestionHome@Com