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Question: Is this good for the beginning of a Leaf Clover poem!? Reviews, critique, comments, questions, concerns!.!.!.!.etc!?
I have to do it for my LA class!. It has to be a nature romanticist poem about a Leaf Clover!. Those are usually associated with luck so that's what I'm using for it's symbol!. So my poem is about a guy whose house was destroyed by a fire and he thinks all hope is lost!. But through the ashes of his house he finds a four leaf clover which is a symbol of luck!. Then someone arrives to help him or something like that!. Anyways here are the first few lines of my poem!.
(By the way it has to be 20 lines and 8 words/line!. It's only the first 4)
A cold tear drop kisses upon the cheek
Of the man who lies alone and weeps!.
He sits curled up on the ashen floor
Of where his glorious house once stood before!.
How is it!?Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
I like where it is going!. Keep in mind in romanticism, the senses are a very big thing!. So what he heard, what he sees, what he smells are all big things that are an indication of the genre!.
Keep it very raw, and don't hold back how he felt, and what he last!. Don't try to pretty it up in any way!. By keeping it real, the end will be so much more bittersweet!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
The days of light were black and gone
And where a castle once had stood
Was now a charred and barren lawn
And all who saw it hardly could
Contain their sadness at the sight
Of what, once mighty, now a heap,
Stood silhouetted, stark in blight
Where once a family would keep
A candle on the window sill
To mark the sanctity of life,
Of home and hearth; I see it still
Through memory gnaw like a knife!.
But then the fire -- and that was lost
And all who once could outrun grief
Were now into life's cauldron tossed --
And there was yet a clover leaf
That stood, supernal, bright and green
Amidst the ash it thrived and grew,
A sign of Providence unseen,
A benison to start anew!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
A cold teardrop runs down the cheek
of him who lies forlorn and weak,
and spread upon the ash-strewn floor
of where his mansion stood before!.
A fire consumed his grand abode
and all his high hopes did implode;
he cannot help but let tears flow
for he has now no place to go!.
But what is this that he does spy
from out the corner of his eye!?
"Aha!", he cries through gritted teeth,
"a green four petal clovered leaf!"
Again hope rises in his soul,
and hope must have in sight a goal!.
Although cast down and in despair,
he trusts that he can now repair
his lot in life and struggle on,
with a good friend to lean upon!.
And blessed be, here comes one now,
and he in thanks to God does bow!.
Just off the top off my head!. Not 8 words per line, but 8 syllables!. Any help!? To be 8 words a line, they would need to be 1 syllable words or the rhythm and meter would be all over the place!.Www@QuestionHome@Com