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Position:Home>Poetry> Nightmare,,please read the small poem and tell me:)?Question: Nightmare,,please read the small poem and tell me:)!? The wolf is chasing me And I m running without light The trees hit my face And the fear glue me to my place Hearing the wolf panting after me I pull my legs and start to run again I will protect myself its my right I will never stop till its my time to die The sun is fading in the sky The moon is not coming today And it’s so dark, its night I feel fangs across my neck His hot breath burn my spine I fight my arms forward though I know its on my back I struggle to find another way to live I get up from bed To see blood spots on my pillow i breath and with the back of my hand I dry the sweat I will never sleep again, That’s it The breakfast is ready I hear I run the stairs ,,my knees are shaking The morning is here Www@QuestionHome@Com Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: i like it!.is their a meaning their because you will sleep again so you need to get rid of those wolvesWww@QuestionHome@Com Good concept, but you need to hone your talents with the English language!. There are too many holes and you need to start refining your style!. It is not enough to state a fact, you must make the reader feel what you are feeling!.!.!.!.!. I think you should try to make some changes to improve your poem!. It is good and it takes a long time before you will write exactly what you want!. Keep up the good work!.!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com Sorry, it needs major revision!. Too clumsily expressed!. Nice idea though!.Www@QuestionHome@Com Its ALOT better than what I could ever write!. I think its pretty good!.Www@QuestionHome@Com its Original!. i think it sounds pretty interesting!. nice poem!.!.!. it sounds like something that would be in twilight :)Www@QuestionHome@Com I like it a lotWww@QuestionHome@Com Ahhhh to be honest its a bit too fast each line, but I believe you were trying to make it abrubt a little bit kind of like hysteria!.!.!. I would like in my opinion to hear a little bit more detail and depth!.!.!.more revealing like Im actually there but its a good draft!.!.!.take criticism with a grain of salt everyone has their own sense of style of poems and writing!.!.!.I actually had made a poem like this before to sum it up it was about running away from the devil and than having to run against was pretty interesting at that point of my life with what was around me, my sense of well-being with emmotional conflict!.!.!.Well Good Luck!! And I would suggest not to put all your poems on here unless copyrighted you never know who might take it!.!.!.!.but you wanted opinions I understand!. Www@QuestionHome@Com |