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Question: I wrote this just recently when I was at home, sick with the cold!.!?
He Was A Man Of Science!.
A poem by Alejandro Perez!.
10/21/08
He was a man of science!.
I but a simple man!.
“the church may have their say,”
he said to me,
“but I’ll be dammed, if science wasn’t better than then
the old priests,
now and again!.
“what say you,
my good man,
what are your views,
upon the ghastly church!”
“I’m astounded sir!”
I said with surprise,
“I must say your opinion will
lead you to damnation!”
“Humph! I beg to differ!” he laughed,
his breath smelling of that poisoning liquor
“Come to my lab,
and you will see,
what magnificent wonders science
will bring to this world
of ours!”
And he left, the café,
hid head held high,
he left with utter confidence,
and his figure poised so straight!.
I never went to his lab,
I didn’t have the time,
and a many a year later,
this man I had met,
had discovered man’s greatest discovery,
that man had discovered yet!.
Yes, he surely was a man of science!.
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Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Corrections:
In the first stanza, fifth line, it would be than the, not then!.
also in the last stanza, second to last line, I would remove the 'had' from it!. It disrupts the flow and causes disagreement, because if it's discovered, then it already is in past tense, and no need for the had!. So adding the had makes it that the man you met had ALREADY discovered it, when that's not what you meant!.
You also don't need to restate that he is a man of science, unless you end on a different note, and say "Yes, but he was only a man of science!." Or something of the sort!.
A bit confusing with your rhyming, unless this is blank verse, and then you should still have a steady measure, and stanzas of similar lines!.
Better than most of the poems on yahoo!, I actually quite like it, if you fixed a few things!.Www@QuestionHome@Com