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Question: What is a siren and what do they do!?
Siren's Song
The sirens on their islands three,
Sing songs none can resist!.
When siren's song reach human ear,
His mind will be a mist!.
I heard these songs upon our trip,
I instantly went mad!.
But Orpheus with voice of gold,
Sang loud and made us glad!.
For he was of a voice so fair,
None in the world compare!.
His song was carried far and wide,
And sirens pulled their hair!.
The voices mingled then they died,
They faded from our mind!.
And we were saved from siren's death,
The deadly rocks behind!.
Their songs indeed drive all men mad,
These birds with women's head,
If not for voice of Orpheus,
This entire crew be dead!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Are the sirens harpies,
That sit on whitewashed rocks!?
I would have none of these,
But Lorelei's golden locks!.
With wax I would fill my ears
But I'd hear not Orpheus' song
That could move the world to tears
And that truly would be wrong!.
Madness and death are things we crave
They did not end with the sirens
Orpheus' song that crew did save,
But is not heard in our environs!.
Scylla and Charybdis yet await
The journey's not yet over
Euridice holds her lover's fate
And that no song can cover!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Don, I love what you're doing here and the direction that your thoughts have taken of late!. I won't presume to tell you how to revise this to smooth it out even a bit more (though I will write my own version privately and would be happy to share it with you if you want), but I think that Iano's revisions hold some of the clues!. Keep going with this Don; I think Orpheus himself would soon feel you at his heels!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
I found your reading dramatically interesting, thought provoking, and well put!.
However, I do like the suggested lines in verse three fourth line and last verse fourth line!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Delving into mythology aren't you!? Enjoyed the read!. S2L2 perhaps better with 'and'!? Www@QuestionHome@Com
powerfully awesome man!
it wouldnt be short of
spectacular to see you reciting this live either!.
it has all your Dondi rhythm and rhyme!
i liked it
Www@QuestionHome@Com
Nicely describedWww@QuestionHome@Com
Thanks for the best answer you gave me, Dondi!. Your poem is inventive, but one or two lines are slightly contrived!. I know you will revise it in your own time, but will you forgive me on this one occasion if I share my revised version with you!?
The sirens on their islands three,
Sing songs none can resist!.
When siren's song reach human ear,
clear thought will soon desist!.
We heard these songs upon our trip,
And we were rendered mad!.
But Orpheus with voice so fair,
Sang out and made us glad!.
For he had such a golden tone,
That no one can compare!.
His song was carried far and wide,
and saved us from despair!.
The voices mingled when they ceased,
Then faded from our mind!.
And we were saved from certain doom,
And left death's rocks behind!.
Their songs indeed drive all men mad,
These birds with women's head!.
But for the voice of Orpheus,
This crew would now be dead!.
Still not perfect, but hopefully of help to you in your revision!. As you know, it's relatively easy to revise something when all the hard work creating it has already been done, and I'm sure you'd have no trouble revising it yourself!. Just wanted to be helpful!. It's a tribute to your abilities that your poem so engaged me!.Www@QuestionHome@Com